:D

i know its been awhile, but Ramadan Mubarak! May Allah swt make this month easy for us and accept our prayers, insha'Allah.

SO, what have you been up to? I've missed you guys! :D

Salaams.

Random Ramadan post: partie un

So, I'm sitting on the phone on hold for the past... *checks phone*... TWENTY MINUTES, so i figured I could make a quick post since the state has me on hold all day like I have unlimited day time minutes.

*eye roll*

anywho, I feel like this Ramadan has been extremely difficult for me. I don't know why. It's like I've lost all of my patience. *sigh*

.... the state finally answered the phone!! what took so long!

sorry... lol... continuing, I feel really bad b/c I feel like I've lost grasp on the patience i worked so hard to attain. Maybe it's psychological. Another strange thing is that my LOVELY hayfever has decided to come into play. I've been try to drink all of the water and tea in the world during suhur and iftar, but ummm, nothing stops my throats of itching and my weezing coughs. It drives me insane. Maybe I should get that allergy shot. I heard it's amazing. hmmmm. until then, I guess I'm stuck get very expensive allergy medicine because it's the only kind that stops me from coughing and itching and looking perplexed.

this also means that i must avoid all germinating and dying plants and dusty things and moldy things and smoky things and whatever else makes me sound like a man in the morning.

this also calls for a cleaning binge. i'm a bit excited.

So, I'm curious to know if anyone has been having some troubles during Ramadan? please, don't tell me i'm the only one.

salaams.

good fasting.

ummm.... Ramadan Mubarak?

So, I realized it's been a very, very, VERY long time since I've even said 'hello'.

I apologize. Do forgive me. Life has been being life.

I decided that during a forced relaxation period, that I should at least tell you all Ramadan Mubarak. I hope you all have a fulfilling and uplifting Ramadan and may Allah (swt) accept all of our prayers.

I hope to blogging again soon, insha'allah, but until then I am being forced to rest and not think about life (long story).

See you on the flip side.

Salaams.

Dedra

Ramadan/Jihad experience #2

So, I haven't blogged much for a while for a couple reasons.

1. School started last week and i haven't figured out how to manage my work and school schedule. So, I've been trying to sleep/study/work/live/worship all at once and its still not coming together yet. 
2. Since I have my own laptop, I realize that for me to use it occasionally, I must have working internet that I pay for which is very hard to find if you are a conspiracist like me! 
3. I have been feeling very alone lately. Its hard to explain, but since Ramadan started I feel a tad abandoned. I'm the only convert I know/talk to (yes as in I talk to myself) that actually gives a rat's ass about this crazy experience called, First in the Life of a Convert (made that up myself). Everyone expects it or can't relate, but its driving me insane. I eat by myself most of the time, if there's a question, there isn't someone that I have to sit in front of me and answer or hug if I have a sudden nervous break down of some sort.  So, since I'm back to fasting after my week long break, I have been doing random things to distract me from not eating and realizing that noone is around me. For example, I've stimulated the economy quite a bit because  I usually eat out of boredom, but since I can't, I shop. I can't manage to get to sleep, so I shop. 

So, yeaaaaaa basically I'm strugglin' as usual, but its all good. Strugglin' is good right? Right. So, I'll take it in stride. *sigh* ... I should get going... I need sleep before I go back to work. 

:::::::::~salaaammmmmmmm~:::::::::::

P.S. if you don't hear from me before Eid, Eid Mubarak! lol just in case I sleep through Eid or something.

Ramadan/Jihad experience

Salaam readers,

I hope you all are having a blessed and successful Ramadan.

I have been having some struggles during my first Ramadan and last night they were really bothering me, so when I woke up I opened to the Quran (alhumdulilah). 

Every time I wake and open the Quran (alhumdulilah), I pick a random place to read because something may be on my mind or I want to leave the house with something peaceful in my mind. So, today this is the passage I bumped into::

Sura 31. Luqman (The Wise):

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Alif Lam Mim:

These are Verses of the Book of Wisdom-A Guide and a Mercy to those who do good- Those who establish prayer regularly, and give charity regularly, and have (the truest) belief in the Hereafter. These are (the people truly) guided by their Lord; And these are the ones who will prosper. And from mankind, there are, those who buy useless talk, without knowing (the meaning), to mislead (others) from the Path of Allah and to make lowly jokes (about Allah's path): For them there will be a demeaning penalty. And when Our signs are rehearsed to such a one (person), he turns away with (empty) pride, as if he did not hear them, as if there was deafness in both of his ears: So, announce to him of a (very) painful penalty. Verily, for those who believe and work righteous deeds, there will be Gardens of Joy, To live therein. HIs, the promise of Allah is true: And He is the Almighty and All wise. He has created the heaven without any pillars that you can see; and He set mountains standing firmly (on the earth) in case it should shake with you; And upon it He has spread beasts of all kinds. And We send down rain from the sky, and We made on the earth every kind of noble creation to therein.

 

I would continue on, but I would be putting the whole Sura on here. 

But anywho, so my main reason of posting this is because yesterday, twice people that I knew insulted my deen to my face. It was frustrating because Dedra's non-Ramadan reaction would to share a few choice words on their ignorance and arrogance, but instead I just let it go, but there are 3 main things that just rubbed me the wrong way and I just had to read my Quran just to clear my mind of any horrifying thoughts that could be floating. And just to make this clear, when I say horrifying I mean cruel and sinful, as in violent lol.

1. I was told it was my fault for fasting.  Reaction: stupid... thats like saying its someone's fault for observing Lent which is obviously very important and is done in order to please God.

2. An acquaintance of mine told me that their friend told them that it says in the Quran that fish were created from the sperm of the Prophet Mohammed when he saw an attractive woman. Reaction: Doesn't that contradict the concept of God creating ALL things? Every specimen on this planet. How is a human going to create a creature that Allah (SWT) created before hand? It just doesn't make sense. Not only that, what Quran is this guy reading?

3. This same random guy said that the Prophet Mohammed made up everything in the Quran. First, that would contradict that ridiculous statement above. Second, that's insulting, its disrespectful and ignorant. Thats like saying Musa (Moses) just made up those 10 commandments. Thats like saying The Torah was thought up by conspiracists. I mean seriously, with all of the similarities of Islam and Christianity, you would think people would at least realize the stupidity that they say before they actually say it. 

**sigh** 

I'm still learning so much about my Deen and people disrespecting me, my deen, my prophet, and my God all in one day is a bit much for my first Ramadan is overwhelming, but I guess thats why Jihad is a blessing right? Subhan'Allah.  

Keep me in your du'as as I continue on with Ramadan. 

w.salaam

Love,

Dedra

FUDGE CAKE!!! I DID IT AGAIN!!!

Clearly, I do not have fudge cake to offer to you lol if I did, I'm not exactly sure if I would share - just being honest hahaha.
BUT SERIOUSLY, I'm censoring myself for fudgin' up again during Ramadan. I ate before Iftar AGAIN. I obviously suck at life.
Not really.
But I feel even more awful because I ate suhoor and everything. I got bored and when I get bored I eat (which is even worse in general, so I might wanna work on that).
Is there a du'a in regards to mistakely breaking fast WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY before Iftar???? If not, I got a lot of explaining to do while praying.

My FIRST Ramadan~SUBHAN'ALLAH!

RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!!!!

How's the beginning of Ramadan going for you so far readers???

Hopefully, Allah is making it easy for you.... :)

As I promised, I would post about my first Ramadan experience. Yesterday, I messed up lol... I couldn't take it... I ate pretzel crisps 2 hours prior to fast breaking :-/ I took a nap and woke up and felt SOOO GUILTY... ugh!

So, today... today is soooo much better. Probably because I ate suhoor... which consisted of left over trail mix and water lol. yea, that didn't do much, but better than yesterday where I had air for suhoor!

Anywho, I'm really enjoying my first Ramadan even though I eat iftar alone and junk... its all good. Its only day two, insha'allah something magical will happen and I'll be eating iftar or suhoor with someone! lol

Its kinda rainy and moist here in Michigan which is very calming and is keeping the grumbles under raps for the time being. :)

Insha'allah, I will have more entertaining things to discuss about my FIRST Ramadan! :D

I love you all for the sake of Allah...

Salaamzzzzzz...

ITS ALMOST HERE! and my boredom disease

I'm doing my whole post in large bold print because I am AMPED for RAMADAN! You could ask my friend CB, but you can't because she won't follow my blog because she's being lazy... and I know she's reading this SO HA!Anywho! Excuse my spelling, I'm typing with a bandage index finger because I was yanking off dead skin out of boredom!!!!! I'll talk about that in a minute. So, yea I'm all super excited for Ramadan! I'm learning some recipes for it so when nightfall hits, I can make some meals for some of my close friends (which is very few cuz everyone will be off at school... boo). I'm trying to get my room in order so I can have personal space to pray, but ummm hmmm ... I don't think my bed feels like moving. My room is like 5 by 5 so there's like no room to think, BUT WHO CARES CUZ RAMADAN COMIN' YALL!!!! I can't wait! *does happy dance* I know, *haram haram*, but you know what... can't none yall see me, so I'm dancin... mentally... cuz I'm at work ... BORED AS HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL OMG MY BOSS ISN'T HERE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!! ITS FREEZING FROM THE OVERUSE OF AIR CONDITIONING AND I JUST WANNA SLEEP!!! I RIPPED DEAD SKIN OFF OF MY NAIL BED AND IT STARTED DRIPPING [BLOOD] SO THE ONLY PRODUCTIVE THING I DID TODAY WAS BANDAGE MYSELF. ugh. I feel like her...

Except without all the strange old folgie men drooling at my feet *yuck*, I look like her in my cubicle except I'm black...and Muslim...and have a bandaged finger...and i hate socks, so i have on flippy floppies.

ugh.

telemarketing sucks.

but you know what doesn't?

RAMADAN!

A Month in Half!

So, the past two months I can't stop thinking about Ramadan! I'm so dang excited because I know I will learn so much (hey, I might even make a friend, yes!)... but then I realize that I should prep first right? hmmm, but I wouldn't know where to start said prepping. If you have any ideas, let me know. I hate to start Ramadan, then get sent to the hospital because I was doing too much lol. ugh, I CAN'T WAIT! It's gon be grand y'all! lol, I still need those tips though.

Love,

Dedra