Ramadan/Jihad experience

Salaam readers,

I hope you all are having a blessed and successful Ramadan.

I have been having some struggles during my first Ramadan and last night they were really bothering me, so when I woke up I opened to the Quran (alhumdulilah). 

Every time I wake and open the Quran (alhumdulilah), I pick a random place to read because something may be on my mind or I want to leave the house with something peaceful in my mind. So, today this is the passage I bumped into::

Sura 31. Luqman (The Wise):

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Alif Lam Mim:

These are Verses of the Book of Wisdom-A Guide and a Mercy to those who do good- Those who establish prayer regularly, and give charity regularly, and have (the truest) belief in the Hereafter. These are (the people truly) guided by their Lord; And these are the ones who will prosper. And from mankind, there are, those who buy useless talk, without knowing (the meaning), to mislead (others) from the Path of Allah and to make lowly jokes (about Allah's path): For them there will be a demeaning penalty. And when Our signs are rehearsed to such a one (person), he turns away with (empty) pride, as if he did not hear them, as if there was deafness in both of his ears: So, announce to him of a (very) painful penalty. Verily, for those who believe and work righteous deeds, there will be Gardens of Joy, To live therein. HIs, the promise of Allah is true: And He is the Almighty and All wise. He has created the heaven without any pillars that you can see; and He set mountains standing firmly (on the earth) in case it should shake with you; And upon it He has spread beasts of all kinds. And We send down rain from the sky, and We made on the earth every kind of noble creation to therein.

 

I would continue on, but I would be putting the whole Sura on here. 

But anywho, so my main reason of posting this is because yesterday, twice people that I knew insulted my deen to my face. It was frustrating because Dedra's non-Ramadan reaction would to share a few choice words on their ignorance and arrogance, but instead I just let it go, but there are 3 main things that just rubbed me the wrong way and I just had to read my Quran just to clear my mind of any horrifying thoughts that could be floating. And just to make this clear, when I say horrifying I mean cruel and sinful, as in violent lol.

1. I was told it was my fault for fasting.  Reaction: stupid... thats like saying its someone's fault for observing Lent which is obviously very important and is done in order to please God.

2. An acquaintance of mine told me that their friend told them that it says in the Quran that fish were created from the sperm of the Prophet Mohammed when he saw an attractive woman. Reaction: Doesn't that contradict the concept of God creating ALL things? Every specimen on this planet. How is a human going to create a creature that Allah (SWT) created before hand? It just doesn't make sense. Not only that, what Quran is this guy reading?

3. This same random guy said that the Prophet Mohammed made up everything in the Quran. First, that would contradict that ridiculous statement above. Second, that's insulting, its disrespectful and ignorant. Thats like saying Musa (Moses) just made up those 10 commandments. Thats like saying The Torah was thought up by conspiracists. I mean seriously, with all of the similarities of Islam and Christianity, you would think people would at least realize the stupidity that they say before they actually say it. 

**sigh** 

I'm still learning so much about my Deen and people disrespecting me, my deen, my prophet, and my God all in one day is a bit much for my first Ramadan is overwhelming, but I guess thats why Jihad is a blessing right? Subhan'Allah.  

Keep me in your du'as as I continue on with Ramadan. 

w.salaam

Love,

Dedra

FUDGE CAKE!!! I DID IT AGAIN!!!

Clearly, I do not have fudge cake to offer to you lol if I did, I'm not exactly sure if I would share - just being honest hahaha.
BUT SERIOUSLY, I'm censoring myself for fudgin' up again during Ramadan. I ate before Iftar AGAIN. I obviously suck at life.
Not really.
But I feel even more awful because I ate suhoor and everything. I got bored and when I get bored I eat (which is even worse in general, so I might wanna work on that).
Is there a du'a in regards to mistakely breaking fast WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY before Iftar???? If not, I got a lot of explaining to do while praying.

Keeping Shaytan Away One Facebook Message At A Time PARTIE DEUX (part two)

In a narration by Muslim, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The reward of every (good) deed of a person is multiplied from ten to seven hundred times. Allah (SWT) says: `The reward of observing Saum is different from the reward of other good deeds; Saum is for Me, and I Alone will give its reward. The person observing Saum abstains from food and drink only for My sake.' The fasting person has two joyous occasions, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time of meeting his Rubb. Surely, the breath of one observing Saum is better smelling to Allah than the fragrance of musk.''

we should be grateful to have to the opportunity to fast. a time where we can become closer to Allah - though we may not deserve a lot of the blessings and forgiveness we may receive during this blessed month, Allah is merciful enough to forgive us from an act as simple as fasting. Subhan'allah, He is truly merciful.

My FIRST Ramadan~SUBHAN'ALLAH!

RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!!!!

How's the beginning of Ramadan going for you so far readers???

Hopefully, Allah is making it easy for you.... :)

As I promised, I would post about my first Ramadan experience. Yesterday, I messed up lol... I couldn't take it... I ate pretzel crisps 2 hours prior to fast breaking :-/ I took a nap and woke up and felt SOOO GUILTY... ugh!

So, today... today is soooo much better. Probably because I ate suhoor... which consisted of left over trail mix and water lol. yea, that didn't do much, but better than yesterday where I had air for suhoor!

Anywho, I'm really enjoying my first Ramadan even though I eat iftar alone and junk... its all good. Its only day two, insha'allah something magical will happen and I'll be eating iftar or suhoor with someone! lol

Its kinda rainy and moist here in Michigan which is very calming and is keeping the grumbles under raps for the time being. :)

Insha'allah, I will have more entertaining things to discuss about my FIRST Ramadan! :D

I love you all for the sake of Allah...

Salaamzzzzzz...

The longest rant known to man

Hello readers,
I'm pumped.
I'm pumped because Ramadan is two crappy nights of sleep away and it will be the highlight of this week that has been unnaturally stressful.
WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD.
First, the woman who birthed me said the most disgusting and hurtful comment to me that I have ever heard in my life. I have my secrets that only a few select people know and the only reason they know it is because I just got comfortable discussing it about a few years ago. This secret should not be thrown in my face by the person who created that issue and therefore made me keep it a secret in the first effing place. My whole resentment issue with the woman is because of the secret that she decideded she would throw in my face and say that I was mentally ill because this secret.
And as if she didn't humiliate me enough she says that I am playing Muslim...
Why?
Because of the way I talk to her.
I don't talk to her.
Because I don't like her.
I don't like her because she says things to hurt me and she's been doing it for years.
Therefore, when I get pissed, words (of which are true and harsh) splash of out my mouth faster than the waters in Louisianna.
So, because I don't like her and I talk to her the way she talks to me (seeing if I decide to talk to her), I am playing Muslim.
Now, I'm not a perfect Muslim, that's not my goal. My goal is to please my God .... but don't insult me and the one thing that is keeping me sane and that is my deen.
My deen is the reason why I am so calm typing this as we speak.
My deen is the reason why I haven't disappeared in the middle of the night to get away from her.
Hell, my deen is the only reason why I am happy.
So, why say I'm a fake?
The woman wanted to hurt me. I never tried to hurt her even though years ago I would have loved to, but I haven't.
whatever. But she hurt me. effing ridiculous is what this is.
Then, my brother, bless his heart, is upset because me and the woman don't get along. I understand that... we're his only family, but his expectations are TOOOOOOO high. He's asking for conversations and hugs. I don't even think I've hugged the woman before. Let alone said 'I love you'. I know he means well and I didn't ask him to choose sides, I want him to understand.
Now, before anyone person goes on to say how haram it is to disrespect your parents and junk... I'll let Allah handle it. How Allah wishes to treat me because of my lack of respect towards the woman will be up to Allah, NOT YOU. I already know, I've always known just like all humans know. So, don't judge me because it.

Alhumdulilah, Ramadan is coming soon and it is the perfect time for me to reflect on the things that have been happening before I converted. Insha'allah, I will come to terms with a couple things.
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I've also decided that I'll continue posting during Ramadan because I remember when I was secretly reading Muslim blogs (like Ange's) and was trying to get some type of look into what this deen is really about, reading blogs really helped a lot because it's a person giving their continuous realistic living of Islam. I just keep thinking there's a curious person whose wondering what the heck Ramadan or they are thinking of converting and they need answers, so I'll keep a weekly post of my first Ramadan.
Insha'allah, I'll be answering questions of those who are secretly following. :)

Product of the Week!

Vaseline Cocoa Butter Lotion!!!!!

This lotion is AMAZING! I mean the softness going on the skin is like........ MAJOR. Very major. Not to mention it has that nice cocoa scent that not one woman can deny. Its totally worth buying a stupid size bottle that lasts for like 4 months. Guess what? ECONOMICAL! lol...

So, run to your closest drugstore/Costco/Target/dare I say... Walmart?

and grad this goodie ladies (or fellas) and get soft and junk!

Periods Suck...

But at least I get to wear nail polish...

No...

That still doesn't help.

EFF.....

I TOTALLY JUST HAD A REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!

SO I'M WRITING IN THIS LARGE, UNNECESSARY FONT BECAUSE I'M EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE - OF WHICH IS RELATED TO MY REVELATION... SO YES, THIS IS A GOOD THING WHICH WOULD MAKE THIS NECESSARY TO USE LARGE, UNNECESSARY FONT! I KNOW THAT WAS A RUN-ON SENTENCE AND ME SAYING THAT THE FONT IS UNNECESSARY BUT IS NECESSARY MAKES NO SENSE, BUUUUTTTTT GUESS WHAT?!
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
SO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY FINANCE DEGREE OR WITH A COLLEGE EDUCATION IN GENERAL AND I THINK I'VE GOT IT!
ITS BETWEEN OPENING AN ISLAMIC BANKING INSTITUTION IN THE MIDWEST OOOORRRRR BECOME A MUSLIM PARTY PLANNER!!!!!
SOOO!? WHAT DO YOU THINK!!? I NEED TO KNOW!!

Keeping Shaytan Away One Facebook Message At A Time

So, on Facebook there's a group called "Ahadith a Day Keeps Shaytan Away". Its so clever its awesome. So, anywho I'm on FB checking my Ahadith of the day and this one pops up:

45. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith instructs oneself to keep in control in order to overcome his rage.

This hadith touched my heart in ways I couldn't believe. I have a temper that could top some spoiled brats at times and my struggle since for the past year or so has been controlling my anger. I don't get violent or anything like that really, I just say some really nasty things and this hadith just erased any excuse I could've had for my temper.

Unbelievable.

Product of the week!

So, I decided that I'm going to start doing Product of the Week because I loooove trying different beauty products ESPECIALLY for my ethnic sistas. No offense to my Caucasion sisters, but its a completely different perplexity when it comes to ethnic hair and skin. Its almost puzzling sometimes, wallahi.

Continuing on, I'm going do a test run for a month and if yall aint feelin it (i.e. not commenting *ahem*), then I won't post them after. :D

ENJOY!

Product of the week: Sephone Brand Kohl Expert

This lil' guy is $8.00 US and is my personal favorite! I've never experienced something so smooth and delicate in my life! And not to mention, the color is veryVERY rich, so if you wanna go spooky dark eye, then go ahead! Its perfect for that! I completely recommend this doozy, the only thing is finding a pencil sharpener to fit it. Oh, and let me mention, if you're a smudging gal, then smudge away because its great for smudging which is something that looks ridiculous on me, but stunning on the Arab women here. *sigh* The only thing I could suggest is go with the waterproof, I think the smoothness affects how long it lasts sometimes.

Interested? Buy it here.

I wanna go to a shin-dig

I looooooooove satin for elegant affairs. Its a fabric perfect for Michigan because we have AMAZING COLD SEASONS. I think purple isn't used enough and you be shocked how hard it was to find that purple mini dress to go over that skirt.

So, enjoy... you might even fantasize a tad.

Untitled by Roshan88 featuring Victoria Beckham

ITS ALMOST HERE! and my boredom disease

I'm doing my whole post in large bold print because I am AMPED for RAMADAN! You could ask my friend CB, but you can't because she won't follow my blog because she's being lazy... and I know she's reading this SO HA!Anywho! Excuse my spelling, I'm typing with a bandage index finger because I was yanking off dead skin out of boredom!!!!! I'll talk about that in a minute. So, yea I'm all super excited for Ramadan! I'm learning some recipes for it so when nightfall hits, I can make some meals for some of my close friends (which is very few cuz everyone will be off at school... boo). I'm trying to get my room in order so I can have personal space to pray, but ummm hmmm ... I don't think my bed feels like moving. My room is like 5 by 5 so there's like no room to think, BUT WHO CARES CUZ RAMADAN COMIN' YALL!!!! I can't wait! *does happy dance* I know, *haram haram*, but you know what... can't none yall see me, so I'm dancin... mentally... cuz I'm at work ... BORED AS HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL OMG MY BOSS ISN'T HERE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!! ITS FREEZING FROM THE OVERUSE OF AIR CONDITIONING AND I JUST WANNA SLEEP!!! I RIPPED DEAD SKIN OFF OF MY NAIL BED AND IT STARTED DRIPPING [BLOOD] SO THE ONLY PRODUCTIVE THING I DID TODAY WAS BANDAGE MYSELF. ugh. I feel like her...

Except without all the strange old folgie men drooling at my feet *yuck*, I look like her in my cubicle except I'm black...and Muslim...and have a bandaged finger...and i hate socks, so i have on flippy floppies.

ugh.

telemarketing sucks.

but you know what doesn't?

RAMADAN!

Grey AGAIN i know you like it

Yes, I did use grey again. I could care less if grey isn't your color. I bet a liter of Pepsi that all y'all look gorgeous in grey. So, embrace and get over it! :D

I loooove grey with random colors. It makes more sense than ice cream and cake... wait, ... hmmm that's too far fetched. Ice cream and cake were created to go together. **drool**

Anywhoooo,

tell me what you think... oh and that random eye liner - I bought THE MOST PERFECT EYELINER THIS WEEK, SO I INCLUDED IT. Its Sephora's brand of Kohl eyeliner. perfection.

Untitled by Roshan88 featuring Forever21