Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Reaction: I'm over it. Get some thick skin and take these struggles as a blessing. I would go deeper into my reasoning for my reaction, but considering that I'm not the NICEST Muslim quite yet, I'm not going to go there.
Nevertheless, I'm starting to worry my Ummah and I and the rest of us must continue to make du'a for each other b/c clearly people are starting to lose sanity.
Astigurfullah - may Allah swt keep us in His mercy ... even when we start acting ungrateful.
FYI: I watched some retarded, I mean *sigh* cancel that.... I watched a youtube video about some girl who de-reverted herself from the deen.... a message to her:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MUSLIM BECAUSE IF THERE WAS, THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR ISLAM. YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT YOU ARE NOT THE BEST MUSLIM IN THE WORLD. SUCK IT UP AND STOP JUDGING THE DEEN OFF OF AN DIGITAL LAND OF CRAZY, JUDGMENTAL MUSLIMS THAT THINK THEY'RE PERFECT BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO GET JUDGED MY THE ALMIGHTY TOO.
Lord... today, today. *shakes head*
I'll be posting later about something else that isn't going to make my head pop off in irritation.
I love you (even the ones that don't want to be Muslims anymore) for the sake of Allah.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Today was the premiering of Jimmy Choo's line with H&M...
I was going to go to H&M today and look/buy Jimmy Choo accessories...
I got called into work...
I'm still here...
I don't even want to go to H&M anymore...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I think its pretty awesome... how about you? My birfffffday is coming up and I'm quite enthused about it. I'm turning 21 and I wanna get dressed up and whatnot. *sigh* wonder where a sister can go and where some elegant clothing that might involve food? lol
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
- “O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)
- “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Imam Ahmad rahimahullah said, “Allah has mentioned patience in the Qur’an in 90 places.”
Patience in the Qur’an: Six Benefits
1. Instruction: Patience is enjoyed upon the Believers.
وَاصْبِرْ وَمَا صَبْرُكَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ
And endure patiently, your patience is not but from Allah. (16:127)
وَاصْبِرْ لِحُكْمِ رَبِّكَ فَإِنَّكَ بِأَعْيُنِنَا
So wait patiently for the Decision of your Lord, for verily, you are under Our Eyes. (52:48)
2. That which is opposite to patience is forbidden
فَاصْبِرْ لِحُكْمِ رَبِّكَ وَلَا تَكُن كَصَاحِبِ الْحُوتِ إِذْ نَادَىٰ وَهُوَ مَكْظُومٌ
So wait with patience for the Decision of your Lord, and be not like the Companion of the Fish - when he cried out (to Us) while he was in deep sorrow. (68:48)
3. Patience is made a condition of success and prosperity
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ
O you who believe! Endure and be more patient, and guard your territory by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you, and fear Allah, so that you may be successful. (3:200)
4. The reward of those who exercise patience is doubled
أُولَـٰئِكَ يُؤْتَوْنَ أَجْرَهُم مَّرَّتَيْنِ بِمَا صَبَرُوا وَيَدْرَءُونَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ السَّيِّئَةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ
These will be given their reward twice over, because they are patient, and repel evil with good, and spend out of what We have provided them. (28:54)
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning. (39:10)
Sulayman ibn Qasim said, “the reward of every deed is known, except for the reward of patience which will be like heavy rain.”
5. Patience and emaan are pre-requisites for leadership in religion
وَجَعَلْنَا مِنْهُمْ أَئِمَّةً يَهْدُونَ بِأَمْرِنَا لَمَّا صَبَرُوا ۖ وَكَانُوا بِآيَاتِنَا يُوقِنُونَ
And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat. (32:24)
6. Patience is the way to earn the Companionship of Allah
وَاصْبِرُوا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
And be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient. (8:46)
-Taken from “Patience and Gratitude”, by Ibn alQayyim rahimahullah.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I pray that Allah has accepted all of prayers and has forgiven our sins....
Thursday, September 17, 2009
- One of my best friends is having a baby girl in late October, subhan'allah! I'm super pumped because she's gonna be a cute and plump and innocent! aaaaaannnnnndddd I now have a reason to buy adorable baby products [considering I refuse to have kids before 30].
- I turn 21 in December. Thats just awesome.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
- School started last week and i haven't figured out how to manage my work and school schedule. So, I've been trying to sleep/study/work/live/worship all at once and its still not coming together yet.
- Since I have my own laptop, I realize that for me to use it occasionally, I must have working internet that I pay for which is very hard to find if you are a conspiracist like me!
- I have been feeling very alone lately. Its hard to explain, but since Ramadan started I feel a tad abandoned. I'm the only convert I know/talk to (yes as in I talk to myself) that actually gives a rat's ass about this crazy experience called, First in the Life of a Convert (made that up myself). Everyone expects it or can't relate, but its driving me insane. I eat by myself most of the time, if there's a question, there isn't someone that I have to sit in front of me and answer or hug if I have a sudden nervous break down of some sort. So, since I'm back to fasting after my week long break, I have been doing random things to distract me from not eating and realizing that noone is around me. For example, I've stimulated the economy quite a bit because I usually eat out of boredom, but since I can't, I shop. I can't manage to get to sleep, so I shop.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
608. Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) finished eating his food, he would lick his three fingers (i.e., the forefinger, the middle finger and the thumb). He (PBUH) said, "If anyone of you drops a morsel, he should remove anything harmful from it and then eat it. He should not leave it for Shaitan.'' He commanded us to clean out the dish saying, "You do not know in what portion of your food the blessing lies.''So, next time someone looks at you crazy for licking your fingers, just smile and silently count a blessing...then stick out your tongue and show them your chewed up food lol jk jk
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
BUT SERIOUSLY, I'm censoring myself for fudgin' up again during Ramadan. I ate before Iftar AGAIN. I obviously suck at life.
But I feel even more awful because I ate suhoor and everything. I got bored and when I get bored I eat (which is even worse in general, so I might wanna work on that).
Is there a du'a in regards to mistakely breaking fast WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY before Iftar???? If not, I got a lot of explaining to do while praying.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I'm pumped because Ramadan is two crappy nights of sleep away and it will be the highlight of this week that has been unnaturally stressful.
WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD.
First, the woman who birthed me said the most disgusting and hurtful comment to me that I have ever heard in my life. I have my secrets that only a few select people know and the only reason they know it is because I just got comfortable discussing it about a few years ago. This secret should not be thrown in my face by the person who created that issue and therefore made me keep it a secret in the first effing place. My whole resentment issue with the woman is because of the secret that she decideded she would throw in my face and say that I was mentally ill because this secret.
And as if she didn't humiliate me enough she says that I am playing Muslim...
Because of the way I talk to her.
I don't talk to her.
Because I don't like her.
I don't like her because she says things to hurt me and she's been doing it for years.
Therefore, when I get pissed, words (of which are true and harsh) splash of out my mouth faster than the waters in Louisianna.
So, because I don't like her and I talk to her the way she talks to me (seeing if I decide to talk to her), I am playing Muslim.
Now, I'm not a perfect Muslim, that's not my goal. My goal is to please my God .... but don't insult me and the one thing that is keeping me sane and that is my deen.
My deen is the reason why I am so calm typing this as we speak.
My deen is the reason why I haven't disappeared in the middle of the night to get away from her.
Hell, my deen is the only reason why I am happy.
So, why say I'm a fake?
The woman wanted to hurt me. I never tried to hurt her even though years ago I would have loved to, but I haven't.
whatever. But she hurt me. effing ridiculous is what this is.
Then, my brother, bless his heart, is upset because me and the woman don't get along. I understand that... we're his only family, but his expectations are TOOOOOOO high. He's asking for conversations and hugs. I don't even think I've hugged the woman before. Let alone said 'I love you'. I know he means well and I didn't ask him to choose sides, I want him to understand.
Now, before anyone person goes on to say how haram it is to disrespect your parents and junk... I'll let Allah handle it. How Allah wishes to treat me because of my lack of respect towards the woman will be up to Allah, NOT YOU. I already know, I've always known just like all humans know. So, don't judge me because it.
Alhumdulilah, Ramadan is coming soon and it is the perfect time for me to reflect on the things that have been happening before I converted. Insha'allah, I will come to terms with a couple things.
I've also decided that I'll continue posting during Ramadan because I remember when I was secretly reading Muslim blogs (like Ange's) and was trying to get some type of look into what this deen is really about, reading blogs really helped a lot because it's a person giving their continuous realistic living of Islam. I just keep thinking there's a curious person whose wondering what the heck Ramadan or they are thinking of converting and they need answers, so I'll keep a weekly post of my first Ramadan.
Insha'allah, I'll be answering questions of those who are secretly following. :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
This lotion is AMAZING! I mean the softness going on the skin is like........ MAJOR. Very major. Not to mention it has that nice cocoa scent that not one woman can deny. Its totally worth buying a stupid size bottle that lasts for like 4 months. Guess what? ECONOMICAL! lol...
So, run to your closest drugstore/Costco/Target/dare I say... Walmart?
and grad this goodie ladies (or fellas) and get soft and junk!
That still doesn't help.
Monday, August 10, 2009
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
SO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY FINANCE DEGREE OR WITH A COLLEGE EDUCATION IN GENERAL AND I THINK I'VE GOT IT!
ITS BETWEEN OPENING AN ISLAMIC BANKING INSTITUTION IN THE MIDWEST OOOORRRRR BECOME A MUSLIM PARTY PLANNER!!!!!
SOOO!? WHAT DO YOU THINK!!? I NEED TO KNOW!!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
45. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith instructs oneself to keep in control in order to overcome his rage.
This hadith touched my heart in ways I couldn't believe. I have a temper that could top some spoiled brats at times and my struggle since for the past year or so has been controlling my anger. I don't get violent or anything like that really, I just say some really nasty things and this hadith just erased any excuse I could've had for my temper.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
So, after my amazing concert experience, I realized my tonsils were a tad tender. Tuesday, they are feeling a lil' round. Then I had a manly man voice going on. I felt awful. I wanted to roll up in crepe and shiver and die slowly. I didn't know what was going on. No one could understand me. I was pathetic... and kinda still am.
While I was working on a special project, I decided to find some motivation music. As I was looking around, I bumped into this excellent website where you can listen and download nasheeds for free, alhumdulilah! Once I remember the name of the website, I'll be sure to post it so all you folks can enjoy it as well.
Think of Carrie when she was about to kill all those folks...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Because you don't wanna be like a particular person whose name I can't remember. So, I'm at work on break because I was on the verge of death and decided to take hold of a seat in the file room. I was reading Ange's blog when my co worker was playing her alternative Christian talk radio station.
So, I was minding my own business, catching a couple of words here and there while "Mr. Radio Man" (that's his name now) was talking about keeping the Christian community together and how that's what Jesus wanted etc, etc. As I was minding my business Mr. Radio Man was talking about the relativity of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. He started off fine saying the were the three largest monotheistic religions and I'm like "okay, Mr. Radio Man", then he said this:
"These religions are considered Abrahamic religions because of their connection with Abraham... I feel this is true for Judaism and Christianity, but not for Islam. I feel this way because Islam is a fairly new religion..."
~~soak that in~~
---ruminate on that---
Now, its not a direct quote, but its 98.9995% correct plus or minus a couple of words, but wallahi thats the shell right there.
I don't even know how to react to this. First, I was like "this effing idiot is effing retarded", but then when I was discussing it with my friend, I realized this dude had absolutely no clue. Its that lack of education that has people thinking that every time a Muslim goes grocery shopping, we're out to take over the world and blow up Christians.
The fact that he made a obvious contradiction could be completely ignored by someone simply because they don't agree with Islam. Fine. I don't care if you agree with Islamic beliefs or not, but a smart person would realize that if Islam is considered a major montheistic religion, how is it not an Abrahamic religion? What god are we (Muslims) worshipping then? Since apparently its not the same God Abraham and Jesus worshipped, it must some complete random moon god or something. Do you understand where I'm going with this? Its logic people need to start using. People are so adjusted to "well this is like this because it is" theory that they won't let go of their ignorance to pay attention to what they are saying or doing.
This is overwhelmingly irritating. I love Islam and I feel blessed and honoured to have to brought to this path of living and because of this, I feel that when someone has a question or has a particular image of Islam that's not correct, I should be the one to educate that person.
I was thinking of calling and telling Mr. Radio Man and telling him Christianity is older than Islam by just about 500 years... not 2,000. Its not like Muhammad (pbuh) was born 50 years ago and was "hey, guess what - y'all ain't living right. God told me to tell y'all that". Then I would ask him that wouldn't he think it's odd that we acknowledge EVERY single prophet/apostle that Christians acknowledge? From Abraham to Job to Jacob to Joseph to Jesus, not one person is underestimated nor ignored in Islam, but SOMEHOW we just don't fit with the Abrahamic religion because we are "fairly new".
Let me make something clear because I know some non-Muslims might come through and read this. You must pay attention to what comes out of another person's mouth. I don't care WHO they are, be smart, use your intellect that God has blessed you with. Don't go around bashing something you don't know about. Gaining knowledge and rejecting ignorance and arrogance pleases our Lord and we all know that, so take advantage of that and learn about your fellow bretherin around you.
Don't be like Mr. Radio Man and just say something that is contradicting and could be harmful for others and mislead your community.
I am done now.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
So, I was snooping around my favorite website, Muslim Matters, and they had posted something about a particulary website that I thought was really halarious.
Loon Watch is a website that shows all this Tom-foolery called Islamaphobia. It's quite halarious. The satire paired with awesome journalism makes Islamaphobia seem like a game that some kids made up on a rainy day... wait a second, IT WAS WASN'T IT?! But anyway, lol, I was reading an article that made me giggle that was about some dude named Steve Emerson.
Here's a clippet of zee article:
Steven Emerson: “Wowser!”
Posted on 06 May 2009 by Garibaldi
Steven Emerson, a pillar of the Islamophobic movement, promotes himself as an “Investigative journalist” exposing terrorism and the supposed “fifth column activities of American Muslims” through his Orwellian organization, The Investigative Project. He claims, just as his counterparts Douglas Farah and Joe Kaufman do, that all his work is done in defense of America and in order to safeguard the homeland. Yet his claims are as mendacious and exaggerated as the other two.
He is simply the progenitor of some of the vilest, most imbecilic anti-Muslim hysteria on the inter-net and in America today. This is the case because more often than not he is so off the mark in his accusations and conclusions that it makes you wonder why anyone would take him seriously as a so-called “Investigative Journalist.”
His hunt to “expose” American Muslims is almost akin to watching an Inspector Gadget cartoon because of its hilarity if it weren’t for the fact that at least Inspector Gadget was sincere and actually solved a case or two. Unfortunately, it looks like Emerson lacks the high tech gadgetry that was at the disposal of Inspector Gadget and that might show him the error of his ways or at the very least help him get his foot out of his mouth.
Instead of using a magnifying glass to look for evidence, Emerson’s technique of choice is to make up the evidence as he goes along, Andy Birkey of the Minnesota Independent notes:
Emerson has a long history of getting into hot water over his anti-Muslim rhetoric. In the 1998 nuclear standoff between India and Pakistan, Emerson fed reporters with an informant who said Pakistan was set to strike India with a nuclear weapon. The media eventually found the informant to be unreliable - but not until international media had used Emerson’s source and intensified an international crisis.
In 1990, he was accused of plagiarism in his writings about Pan Am 103.
He sued a Florida paper after it published reports that he was supplying reporters with documents he said were from the FBI. The Florida Weekly Planet reported that the documents were frauds and Emerson sued. When he couldn’t substantiate his claims, he withdrew the lawsuit.
Emerson once claimed that an extremist Muslim group put out a hit on him and that the FBI offered to put him in a witness protection program. The FBI denied that claim.
In 1995, right after the Oklahoma City Bombing, Emerson was quoted on air stating that he believed the bombing showed “a Middle Eastern trait,” he came to this conclusion because according to him it was done “to inflict as many casualties as possible.” Wowser!
Read the rest here.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
It is something about kids that just crack me up. They are just so adorable [at times].
So, Monday morning I'm making some phone calls at my other job to confirm eye exam appointments. So, I called this family whom I realized, had a Muslim last name.
*ring* *ring* The phone rings (lol as if you didn't figure that out) and someone answers and the most adorable child goes,
I MEAN I JUST WANTED TO GO "WALAIKUMSALAAM LIL' GUY! HOW ARE YOU?" He'll be all "i'm 4!" and I'll be all "AWWW HOW CUTE! oh and by the way so and so has an appointment tomorrow at blah blah time" lol
it was great...
I still don't want one though.
Too much... childness for me.
P.S. the greatest quote ever .... "da greatest soap from da heavens above... and dat's Dove." knowledge from Ghostface. So awesome.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Drool fest #1:
So, I LOOOOVE grey compiled with contrasting colors. mmmMMMmmm it makes me smile. I like wool too, it just makes my skin burn.
Drool fest #2:
Need I say more? The random desk/table thing, I just thought that was sweet lookin' and I wanna go furniture shopping.
Let's see what happens, shall we?
#1: I claimed Islam before I took my actual shahada. To some this may not make since, but when I started looking into Islam and I was reading about how to convert, I instantly thought "I'm Muslim". So, like every other day I was thinking or saying the shahada. It took me a while to realize that I needed a witness, so on St. Patrick's Day, I took my shahada via Why Islam. These guys are awesome, I even got a little new convert package!!! Sweeet.
#2: When I was younger, as in, like 3rd grade, I thought I was Muslim. Yea, where I grew up (which was Crackhead Central mind you, wallahi) there were a couple of Nation [of Islam] "mosques". My mom attended them a few times and since I didn't know the difference of Muslim and "Nation folk" (that's what I call 'em), I just assumed they were Muslim. I thought it was cool and claim Islam for.... hmm a couple years. Until some strange Nation man was all up on my mom and doin all types of haram shit, then I was like uhh.... no.
#3: I went to Catholic school for 13 years. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds.
#4: If it wasn't for Islam, I'd probably be a suicidal whore. Seriously, a little over a year ago, I was in the midst of a panic attack and one day away from a nervous breakdown and 30 minutes away from cutting my wrists down to my central nervous system. Not only that, I was beyond willing to accomodate my physical needs by any means necessary. :( Astaghfir Allah!
#5: I was Arabic in my past life. This is a strong possibility.
#6: I'm actually 7 years old.
#7: If I don't get to marry my POI (person of interest) wallahi, I'm not getting married til I'm 30. seriously... POI is really awesome. HE MUST BE MINE!
#8: I had crazy feelings for this Bengali guy like a year and a half ago. I don't know what happened, but he had to stop talking to me and I must admit, I was shattered.... *sigh* oh well, ANWAY,
#9: I got baptized 9 months before I converted. Yea, long story.
#10: Waiting to Exhale + Tylenol + Burger King fries = amazing
Thursday, July 16, 2009
So check this out:
So, I was going to Jummah and I was chillin' exchanging some 'salaams' with some sistas, but when I was talking an older sista she ask me why I didn't observe hijab. I said that I wasn't sure if my imaan was strong enough to exude a good Muslim. she says that, you believe in the shahada, you believe in Islam right? I said yea, of course. she's like, "well whats stopping you? Allah knows your intentions. Don't let shaytan make you doubt you imaan."
I woke up stunned. I felt like I knew what to do, but I was floored. This is the most forward "message" I've ever gotten in my entire life. When I converted, it was more of an emotional revelation than say... dream direct revelation I guess you could say.
I know what I have to do....
I just feel like I don't know where to start.... or when.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
DETROIT METER MAIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WALLAHI, I COULD JUST METAMORPHOSIZE INTO THE HULK RIGHT NOW!!!!
I CAN TOTALLY DO MJ'S SCREAM VIDEO RIGHT NOW!!!!!
STUPID METER MAID!
I WISH I HAD A WATER BALLOON TO THROW AT HER SO SHE CAN HATE HER JOB EVEN MORE!!!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
So, the past two months I can't stop thinking about Ramadan! I'm so dang excited because I know I will learn so much (hey, I might even make a friend, yes!)... but then I realize that I should prep first right? hmmm, but I wouldn't know where to start said prepping. If you have any ideas, let me know. I hate to start Ramadan, then get sent to the hospital because I was doing too much lol. ugh, I CAN'T WAIT! It's gon be grand y'all! lol, I still need those tips though.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
So, I immediately got excited because I had been looking for something to intrigue me... so, I just finished the movie and the whole time, my jaw is like dragging against the ground in awe because the movie was so realistic and very needed.
I hate ruining movies for people, so check it, this is what I'll do...
Zee characters and dey purpoze. So, the Muslim family is Egyptian (*cough* Ange *cough*) and let me tell you they are all just adorable, especially the pop, Mustafa.
This is a ridiculously small picture of him being interrogated in the airport by the FBI (he didn't do a thing, but be adorable). He's the main character who owns a falafel joint in LA and his whole thing is living the "American Dream" so his family can have a nice life in the States and whatnot and let me just say, this man's iman is so strong because considering he kept getting arrested over ridiculous speculations and he still sat and said, "I believe in the country". He's a good one... I was born here and I don't give a rat's tail. lol but that's neither here nor there haha.
Trust me this lil' guy is cuteness. He's Mustafa's son and he's the one who's question why he's Muslim, why did those Muslims bomb those buildings, and so on and so forth. I think his character is pretty precise because I can only imagine how your 11 and 12 year old Muslim brother and sisters felt when 9/11 happened.
This young man is the son who works in the movie industry as an actor. Lately, he had been typecasted as a terrorist (shocker, not) and he finally landed on this wack TV show called American Safety as a doctor, until he went in to rehearse and the had him play as a terrorist instead. That's all I'm gonna tell you about him (and other characters) because that would get me into describing the movie - and I want you to watch it first before I say anything about it.
Moral of the story: SEE THIS MOVIE! This movie wasn't released at American theaters, but I suggest hitting up an online movie site or Blockbuster... whatever floats your boat. Its an awesome movie! Check it out!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
WHY? Let me explain:
I've read soooooo many stories about sisters' first experiences at Jumma and it's mortifying. I mean people judge everywhere and I shouldn't be shocked, but what if some random person is all "why do you have on that?" or what if I don't pray right or what if I get so nervous from being around strangers (of which I must remind you I don't like) that I destroy my wudu?
I know it sounds silly and I know I'm over thinking, but I'm like a 6 year old trapped inside a very small 20 year old and when I get around people who have been Muslim like their whole life, I just freak. I don't know why. I try to ignore mean people who think its their duty to judge every Muslim in world on how weak or strong their iman is, but damn its hard. And I cry!
Yea, that's right I cry.
So, basically, I don't think I'm emotionally prepared. I don't effing know. Maybe I shouldn't go alone. But as I said before I have like one Muslim friend and we haven't hung out outside of class.
Ya Allah! I don't know what to do! I'm starting to get clammy just thinking about it.
Now, I know I shouldn't care because Jumma is to praise Allah and praising Allah should be my motivation and whatnot, and it is trust me, but *shivers* strangers. EVERYWHERE! All around me. Looking at me, wondering where I'm from, staring at me, backbiting (and don't act like people don't do it - Dedra knows), it just throws me off.
So, now I'm hoping maybe I'll just make a new Muslim friend who'll convince me that I should't feel the urge to pass out when praying with other brothers and sisters who are, insha'allah, there to do the same thing; praise Allah.
So, who wants to be my friend?