Thursday, December 24, 2009

Whats a girl to do?

What does a Muslim convert do Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?



GO TO THE MOVIES!!!!


Sunday, December 20, 2009

SoooOOOoooOO, I'm 21 now and I haven't blogged in a centurySOOSSOh

Yes, that's right guys and gals -

I am now 21 years old alhumdulilah...

I am SOOO EFFING EXCITED!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM!

YAAAAAAY!

Okay, back to regular font. lol, why am I so excited for my birffffday you ask?
Well, in my mind it is a blessing not only to wake up everyday, but to wake up everyday for 21 years when there are people who can't even make it to 18.
When I was born, I was 2 months premature (I would explain why, but let's not) and according to my mom, I have a heart murmur as well.
Shockingly, I'm pretty healthy. The most health issues I have develop from my stress and OCD with causes me EVEN MORE stress. lol.
Alhumdulilah, I made to 21 after converting, when I could have not converted and not made it to 21 either.

This is why I get excited for my birfffday every year.

So, you know what that means?! I'MMA HAVE A GOOD OLE' TIME TODAY! MMMHMMM...
GON BE POPPIN' THOSE NON-ALCOHOLIC BOTTLES!

Just a thought: I will get back to my usually blogging routine some time this week insha'allah because I'm finally done with the semester, but considering the holiday season, I have a non-Muslim family of which is demanding my presence this year... of course. Not any other year, but this year, when I'd rather sleep on the 25th than eat with a bunch of people that barely like me anyway. WHATEVER!

ANYWHO! INSHA'ALLAH YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME SOON!

YAY! HAPPY BIRFFFFDAY TO ME!




Sunday, December 6, 2009

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

So, I'm going to be making a pretty sweet decision for the New Year.

What is it you ask?

I'll tell you when the New Year occurs.

SALAAM!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Product of the week! and other junks!

PRODUCT OF THE WEEK! YAY! ITS BACK!
So, yea I suck because I some point I stopped the product of the week, but considering the type of week its been, I think we need to relax and look at beauty products. hahaha agreed? Oh well, I agree. Continuing on... HERE IT IS!

Eucerin Original Moisturizing Cream
This stuff is super awesome. For like some odd amount of weeks straight, I had this weird allergic reaction to lavender body wash and the only thing that stopped me from ripping my skin off was Eucerin. Its AMAZING! The only down side is that its so thick that it takes 12 years to rub in, but by the time its rubbed in, your skin is sooooo MOIST. <-- I know some people hate that word, so I emphasize it to freak people out. Yea, I'm weird. Whatever. Anywho! So, yea, this is some awesome stuff. If you don't have crazy skin like mine, I suggest still investing in it for knees, heels, elbows, and hands, or where ever else is super duper dry... I just don't want to give other suggestions? lol. Its kind of pricey because its that good. The smallest one I got was about 6-7 dollars US, but once the sizes get bigger the prices shoots to 12 dollars, but considering that it might last for a while. Its totally worth it! CHECK IT OUT!

OTHER THINGS!
So, I've been very unmotivated in school. Hell, in life in general. I work so much I can't even focus on the things that are important to me and I think its starting to get to me. I love school, but now I'm feeling that I'm not happy in my major and I'm already 3 years in. I'm afraid that once I change, I have to start all over again and I just don't feel patient enough to do that. The thought of starting fresh is very bothersome, especially considering the other major I'm consider (radiologic technology). The main reason I'm considering it is because the day after I converted, my dad called me and said that he had prostate cancer. After he explained to me how they did the treatment, I was very intrigued. But I'm unsure about switching majors because I refuse to be in school for the rest of my life.... BUT I'M SOOOO UNHAPPY WITH THE SCHOOL OF BUSINESS IN MY UNIVERSITY. urrrgghhh its so frustrating. insha'allah, I will figure something out sometime soon because time is running out!!!!!!

I hope you all are in good health.
:)
Love,
Dedra

Ummm.... alright?

I'mma make this post real quick. Its not about anything super DUPER important and considering that its 5am, I must be swift and go to bed.

Reaction: I'm over it. Get some thick skin and take these struggles as a blessing. I would go deeper into my reasoning for my reaction, but considering that I'm not the NICEST Muslim quite yet, I'm not going to go there.

Nevertheless, I'm starting to worry my Ummah and I and the rest of us must continue to make du'a for each other b/c clearly people are starting to lose sanity.

Astigurfullah - may Allah swt keep us in His mercy ... even when we start acting ungrateful.

FYI: I watched some retarded, I mean *sigh* cancel that.... I watched a youtube video about some girl who de-reverted herself from the deen.... a message to her:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MUSLIM BECAUSE IF THERE WAS, THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR ISLAM. YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT YOU ARE NOT THE BEST MUSLIM IN THE WORLD. SUCK IT UP AND STOP JUDGING THE DEEN OFF OF AN DIGITAL LAND OF CRAZY, JUDGMENTAL MUSLIMS THAT THINK THEY'RE PERFECT BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO GET JUDGED MY THE ALMIGHTY TOO.

Lord... today, today. *shakes head*

I'll be posting later about something else that isn't going to make my head pop off in irritation.

I love you (even the ones that don't want to be Muslims anymore) for the sake of Allah.
Goodnight/morning

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Stuck at work, thinking about Jimmy Choo

Today was a very important day...


Today was the premiering of Jimmy Choo's line with H&M...


I was going to go to H&M today and look/buy Jimmy Choo accessories...


I got called into work...


I'm still here...


I don't even want to go to H&M anymore...


Poop.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Another Post I'M ON A ROLL

Sunday, November 8, 2009

AT LAST.... A POLYVORE POST!!!!!






I think its pretty awesome... how about you? My birfffffday is coming up and I'm quite enthused about it. I'm turning 21 and I wanna get dressed up and whatnot. *sigh* wonder where a sister can go and where some elegant clothing that might involve food? lol

Monday, November 2, 2009

I'm Feeling Lazy, It's November now, and blah blah blah poop

The title should say it all. Right now, its 8:16am and I woke up at 7:30am - which is quite early for me - so I could get ready for work and actually be on time. *sigh* I want to go back to bed. I didn't trick-or-treat on Saturday, so my lack of free candy and possible change kind of has me cranky. I want some effing skittles and chocolate.... hmph.

I got zero work done this weekend, BUT I kinda caught up on some sleep alhumdulilah, but sleep doesn't do your Astronomy quizzes for you (it totally should though). Its effing November and wallah, my mind still thinks its July<<<>

I'm actually very hapyy, but I can't express it via words or facial expressions or voice inflections or exclamation points. why? Because I'm lazy and its cold. yea, that's it.

I feel completely non-excited about school/major and I want to change it and when I voiced that to father dearest, it was like I told him I was marrying an ex-convict.

BUT SERIOUSLY... there are some very very very happy things going on!
1. MY GOD-DAUGHTER/NEICE WAS BORN ON THE 21ST EARLY IN THE MORNING! AND SHE'S THE CUTEST BABY IN THE WORLD! AND SHE'S GOING TO BE A BABY MODEL FOR GAP BECAUSE I SAID SO AND BECAUSE SHE'S THAAAAAAAAAT CUTE!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY! only thing is I tend to have nightmares of dropping newborns because they are so fragile and you have to hold them appropriately. So, I tend to freak out a lil... just a little. *awkward*
2. A FRIEND OF MINE TOOK HIS SHAHADA ON SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! W000000000000000T!!!!!! I'M SUPER EXCITED FOR HIM AND I KNOW HE HAS A TON OF QUESTIONS!!!!! ITS SO EXCITING AND HE'S EXCITED AND YAY! MASHA'ALLAH!!!

So, yea, this post makes negative sense, but I still hope yall drinking the orange juice.... i know someone's daughter who just got the "swine" flu... I'm not saying go get the vaccine, but ummm don't be disgusting out here either.

Love,
Dedra

P.S. I missed you blog.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

HIJAB...

So, this morning as I was driving home from taking my mom to work around 7:00 am-ish, I started thinking about hijab (again). I was thinking about why some people decide not to wear it and why I haven't done it yet. I was watching something on the internet, I forget what it is, and this sister said that she decided to wear hijab and she decided to take it off. She said that since hijab is mention very few times in the Holy Qur'an, than her whole faith in God shouldn't revolved around the concept of hijab.

'Hmmm', I thought. I mean it is a good point, but then I thought, "Since it's only probably 2 or 3 times in the Qur'an about maintaining our modesty, maybe the point was that its really not that difficult to wear hijab. Maybe the point was that since its only mentioned a few times, then that makes the decision to observe hijab a few times easier."

I think about wearing hijab [and niqab] daily, but I tend to come up with excuses that would deter me from observing my Lord's command.

So, considering the simplicity of this command, why do we make it harder on ourselves for deciding to please our God? I'm sure we have harder things to observe within Islam than remaining modest.

Just something I was thinking about.

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)
    “O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)
    “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I do still love you!

So, clearly I haven't been blogging as much. I've been really busy with work... not so much school :( which has been really frustrating me. NOW, I'm starting to feel ill and I'm not very pleased about that because there's so much for me to do!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I plan on blogging a little bit more regularly in a couple weeks, insha'allah.

DEDRA'S ADVICE OF THE DAY:
Drink some damn orange juice. Too many germs flying around. I don't want my precious readers to get sick. Take some vitamins or something. Stay healthy. The flu is on a rampage!!!!


SALAAMZZZ!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Another Hadith Thanks to my Facebook 'friends'

488. Ibn `Abbas and `Imran bin Al-Husain (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "I looked into Jannah and saw that most of its dwellers are the poor; and I looked into Hell and saw that most of its inmates were women.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

I would looooooove some commentary!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

PATIENCE! I must learn this!

So, I got this from this group on facebook called, "A Hadith a Day Keeps Shaytan Away". its an amazing piece... ENJOY!

Six Benefits of Patience from the Qur’an

Bismillah

Imam Ahmad rahimahullah said, “Allah has mentioned patience in the Qur’an in 90 places.”

Patience in the Qur’an: Six Benefits

1. Instruction: Patience is enjoyed upon the Believers.

وَاصْبِرْ وَمَا صَبْرُكَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ

And endure patiently, your patience is not but from Allah. (16:127)

وَاصْبِرْ لِحُكْمِ رَبِّكَ فَإِنَّكَ بِأَعْيُنِنَا

So wait patiently for the Decision of your Lord, for verily, you are under Our Eyes. (52:48)

2. That which is opposite to patience is forbidden

فَاصْبِرْ لِحُكْمِ رَبِّكَ وَلَا تَكُن كَصَاحِبِ الْحُوتِ إِذْ نَادَىٰ وَهُوَ مَكْظُومٌ

So wait with patience for the Decision of your Lord, and be not like the Companion of the Fish - when he cried out (to Us) while he was in deep sorrow. (68:48)

3. Patience is made a condition of success and prosperity
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

O you who believe! Endure and be more patient, and guard your territory by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you, and fear Allah, so that you may be successful. (3:200)

4. The reward of those who exercise patience is doubled
أُولَـٰئِكَ يُؤْتَوْنَ أَجْرَهُم مَّرَّتَيْنِ بِمَا صَبَرُوا وَيَدْرَءُونَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ السَّيِّئَةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ

These will be given their reward twice over, because they are patient, and repel evil with good, and spend out of what We have provided them. (28:54)
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ

Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning. (39:10)

Sulayman ibn Qasim said, “the reward of every deed is known, except for the reward of patience which will be like heavy rain.”

5. Patience and emaan are pre-requisites for leadership in religion
وَجَعَلْنَا مِنْهُمْ أَئِمَّةً يَهْدُونَ بِأَمْرِنَا لَمَّا صَبَرُوا ۖ وَكَانُوا بِآيَاتِنَا يُوقِنُونَ

And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat. (32:24)

6. Patience is the way to earn the Companionship of Allah
وَاصْبِرُوا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

And be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient. (8:46)

-Taken from “Patience and Gratitude”, by Ibn alQayyim rahimahullah.

YES I'm still alive and NO I haven't been abducted by creepy old folgies

Hello, readers!
I hope all of you are doing well! Its been I'm not exactly how long since I've posted anything without very large angry words so lol I'm here to let you know I'm alive and kicking alhumdulilah. I've been having a very poopy week and insha'allah it will get better? I don't know, whatever I hope so because I think I'm starting to loose my sanity.
Heres this week's events:
1. I puked 4, count that, 4 times this week! why? because I clearly thought I had an adult system and thought I could pull off take Tylenol extra strength when I can't take anything over 250mg anyway! lol yeaaaa it was pretty sick... lol I was at work sweating and shivering and poopin' and pukin'!! lol {this should totally be an ad to get married right?}
2. I effing forgot about an astronomy quiz that was due on this past Saturday! totally discovered that this morning along with discovering that I have 2 quizzes and an exam due as well... yeaaa online classes can kiss my happy black ass, okay? okay.
3. BABY SHOWER THIS WEEKEND!!! YAY! So, I had bought all of these super cute baby clothes until I realized people were getting things off of the registry, soooo yeaa took then back and Friday I'll go to Target and find some AWESOME! and super adorable... :) yay! a lil cutie!


So, there's an update on my happy lil life (totally not sarcastic here), insha'allah I'll be posting a few more times within the next 70 - ish hours so, enjoy today because you never know-- you could be poopin and pukin and yelling in pain at work, embarrassing yourself in front of patients!! lol yall know that was funny! you can laugh, I'm alive so its all good!
Salaam!

Monday, September 21, 2009

AHHHH LOWER YOUR GAZE CREEP!!!!

((I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND MR. MONSTER... TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.))
OMG WALLAHI,

THE CREEPIEST OF ALL CREEPIES APPROACHED ME AT THE LAUNDROMAT YESTERDAY EVENING WHILE I WAS PUTTING LAUNDRY IN MY CAR.... !!!! AHHHHH I HATE OLD ASS CREEPY GROSS MEN !!!!!! AHHHHHHHH

THE CONVO:
Creepy old folgie: **grumble** i'm mad as hell.
me: why is that? what did the laundromat do?
Creepy old folgie: that *expletive* had on my shirt the last time i dropped off my clothes, i hope all my *expletive* is here.
me: oh wow thats crazy, Mr. Stranger. well, have a nice day - hope you have everything. 
Creepy old folgie: are you old enough to drive? 
me: **duhh obviously old folgie otherwise i wouldn't be getting in this car - weirdo** 
yea! *eyeroll*
Creepy old folgie: oh wow.... well, *thinks about something* you wouldn't be interested in getting my number would you.
me: *laughs and shakes head* that would be a 'no'.
Creepy old folgie: hmmm - YOU AREN'T MARRIED ARE YOU? 
me: *i wish* nope.
Creepy old folgie: Are you taken?
me:......... uhhhhh ---- yea?  *looks around awkwardlly*
Creepy old folgie: HE'S NOT IN THERE IS HE?
me: *o...m....g* no - 
Creepy old folgie: Sooo, you don't wanna exchange numbers at all?
me: i'm quite sure i'm too young for you.
Creepy old folgie: I'm 50, that not old.
me: I'm 20.
Creepy old folgie: *-blank-*
me: THATS A 30 YEAR DIFFERENCE...? *dumbass* you're a bit too old.
Creepy old folgie: I'm not old - *touches moustache* this is wisdom...
me: NO, no its not.
Creepy old folgie: *deep old man chuckle* okay, well it was nice meeting you.
me: uh huh....? of course.... *scurries into car*

WHAT - THE - *EARMUFFS FOR THOSE SENSITIVE* FUCK!!!!!
1. DON'T YOU THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM WHEN YOU HAVE TO ASK IF I'M OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE?
2. WHEN DID THE 50 BECOME TO NEW 25?
3. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Sorry, but I had to get it out. 


Sunday, September 20, 2009

My way of dealing with fasting this Ramadan [LOTS O PIX]

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW:
1. I'm in my mom's room. It looks like a teenager's room with all of the wretched pictures on the closet doors.
2. I'm not a niqabi nor a [full-time] hijabi [yet], I did this strictly for privacy. Some of you know who I am, some of you don't, but for those who don't or are "secret readers" you'll see my face when I'm ready to let you see my face! lol :) seriously.
3. If you remember, I said that because I LOOOVE snacking in the middle of the day, I found myself at the mall trying not to break fast. So, when I get bored, I do things like stimulate the economy. lol Just to clarify that I'm not materialistic or throwing these things in other women's faces. Plus, WHO DOESN'T LOVE ACCESSORIES!!?!? I obviously do... 
ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

The rings:

The shoes:

Yes, that is my eye showing through the shoe... I am a lame. 

I also got a super cute wristlet, but the stupid picture didn't want to cooperate. stupid technology! 

That's only a tad of the shopping adventure I had during Ramadan. lol I also bought this laptop I'm using now. But I totally needed it... I used to blog at work :) 
BUT THAT IS ALL! I'M SURE MORE EXCITING THINGS WILL BE POPPING UP! OH I WILL BE CONTINUING PRODUCT OF THE WEEK THIS WEEK!!! 
YIPEE YAY!!!!

SALAAMZ YALL!


EID MUBARAK MY LOVELY READERS!


I pray that Allah has accepted all of prayers and has forgiven our sins....

Subhan'allah! May you and your families have a bless Eid!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Yup, just waiting...

So, I've been rocking in a fetal position waiting for Ramadan to end (not literally, but you know what I mean). As relieving and eye-opening as Ramadan is/was, I'm kind of ready for Eid. The combination of sickly people at work and fasting doesn't mesh too well with my immune system. Alhumdulilah, I haven't gotten sick at the last minute, but I'm quite a germaphobe and don't approve of foreign germs in my breathing vicinity.
Insha'allah, I'll be posting more because I have the BORING business class that makes me want to rip my eyelashes out with tweezers. So, instead of being bored and listening to my prof have bad public speaking skills, I'll just blog! :) It works... whatever.
Some incredible things that are coming up:
  1. One of my best friends is having a baby girl in late October, subhan'allah! I'm super pumped because she's gonna be a cute and plump and innocent! aaaaaannnnnndddd I now have a reason to buy adorable baby products [considering I refuse to have kids before 30].
  2. I turn 21 in December. Thats just awesome. 
Obviously, these two things are only incredible for me lol and not for you because I'm sure you could give a rat's poop hole. tehe I just need to do something until this wretched class is over. WALLAHI, I'VE LEARNED EVERYTHING IN THIS CLASS 2 YEARS AGO. I don't what my college is paying for, but I am extremely disappointed. I'd rather go to the gynecologist than be in this class. ugh! i might leave early to do nothing whatsoever. Yeaaa, sounds like a plan. 
You'll be hearing from me soon dear readers. 
(future) Eid Mubarak!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ramadan/Jihad experience #2

So, I haven't blogged much for a while for a couple reasons.
  1. School started last week and i haven't figured out how to manage my work and school schedule. So, I've been trying to sleep/study/work/live/worship all at once and its still not coming together yet. 
  2. Since I have my own laptop, I realize that for me to use it occasionally, I must have working internet that I pay for which is very hard to find if you are a conspiracist like me! 
  3. I have been feeling very alone lately. Its hard to explain, but since Ramadan started I feel a tad abandoned. I'm the only convert I know/talk to (yes as in I talk to myself) that actually gives a rat's ass about this crazy experience called, First in the Life of a Convert (made that up myself). Everyone expects it or can't relate, but its driving me insane. I eat by myself most of the time, if there's a question, there isn't someone that I have to sit in front of me and answer or hug if I have a sudden nervous break down of some sort.  So, since I'm back to fasting after my week long break, I have been doing random things to distract me from not eating and realizing that noone is around me. For example, I've stimulated the economy quite a bit because  I usually eat out of boredom, but since I can't, I shop. I can't manage to get to sleep, so I shop. 
So, yeaaaaaa basically I'm strugglin' as usual, but its all good. Strugglin' is good right? Right. So, I'll take it in stride. *sigh* ... I should get going... I need sleep before I go back to work. 
:::::::::~salaaammmmmmmm~:::::::::::
P.S. if you don't hear from me before Eid, Eid Mubarak! lol just in case I sleep through Eid or something.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Eww its rainy and moist and I have to work after class...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WARNING: this post is quite random.
Yesterday was Labor Day, which for me is another random holiday that some random person thought was necessary. I don't know it even matters when a majority of the businesses were open ANYWAY. Kinda contradicts the purpose of laboring individuals resting right? Whatev... anywho, I had THE MOST AMAZING TURKEY BURGER EVER. it was so tasty. made yesterday a billion times better.
Also, I spent WAY WAY WAY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too much money within the past five days thanks to school starting and my ever-changing body that won't fit into clothes that are already in my closet. 
I did on the other hand get my own brand spanking new laptop a week ago, so Insha'allah I'll be able to post more and hopefully I'll have the strength to make them more detailed and less time wasters for those of you who regularly check.
OH OH OH and guess what folks - I have (whats that now?) 25 FOLLOWERS! lol 25 is a fav number of mine... don't know why, but yea pretty effing awesome if I say so myself. :D
So, I'm done wasting you time now. Insha'allah I'll be back to fasting and I'll be able to let yall know if I died or not lol.
HAPPY FASTING! 
Love,
Dedra

Friday, September 4, 2009

TONIGHT AT IFTAR

...LICK YOU FINGERS. ITS SUNNAH. :)

608. Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) finished eating his food, he would lick his three fingers (i.e., the forefinger, the middle finger and the thumb). He (PBUH) said, "If anyone of you drops a morsel, he should remove anything harmful from it and then eat it. He should not leave it for Shaitan.'' He commanded us to clean out the dish saying, "You do not know in what portion of your food the blessing lies.''
[Muslim].
So, next time someone looks at you crazy for licking your fingers, just smile and silently count a blessing...then stick out your tongue and show them your chewed up food lol jk jk

Thursday, September 3, 2009

**SIGH**

So, today is really crummy because I had the intention of fasting today and guess what? While I was at work, my lovely period started. Now, I'm cranky and tired and today is the first day of classes and I just wanna lay down. 

It doesn't even matter that I get to eat cuz all I wanna do is take pills and drink Arizona tea and sleep.

Uterus = big fat meanie face.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Ramadan/Jihad experience

Salaam readers,
I hope you all are having a blessed and successful Ramadan.
I have been having some struggles during my first Ramadan and last night they were really bothering me, so when I woke up I opened to the Quran (alhumdulilah). 
Every time I wake and open the Quran (alhumdulilah), I pick a random place to read because something may be on my mind or I want to leave the house with something peaceful in my mind. So, today this is the passage I bumped into::
Sura 31. Luqman (The Wise):
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Alif Lam Mim:
These are Verses of the Book of Wisdom-A Guide and a Mercy to those who do good- Those who establish prayer regularly, and give charity regularly, and have (the truest) belief in the Hereafter. These are (the people truly) guided by their Lord; And these are the ones who will prosper. And from mankind, there are, those who buy useless talk, without knowing (the meaning), to mislead (others) from the Path of Allah and to make lowly jokes (about Allah's path): For them there will be a demeaning penalty. And when Our signs are rehearsed to such a one (person), he turns away with (empty) pride, as if he did not hear them, as if there was deafness in both of his ears: So, announce to him of a (very) painful penalty. Verily, for those who believe and work righteous deeds, there will be Gardens of Joy, To live therein. HIs, the promise of Allah is true: And He is the Almighty and All wise. He has created the heaven without any pillars that you can see; and He set mountains standing firmly (on the earth) in case it should shake with you; And upon it He has spread beasts of all kinds. And We send down rain from the sky, and We made on the earth every kind of noble creation to therein.
 
I would continue on, but I would be putting the whole Sura on here. 
But anywho, so my main reason of posting this is because yesterday, twice people that I knew insulted my deen to my face. It was frustrating because Dedra's non-Ramadan reaction would to share a few choice words on their ignorance and arrogance, but instead I just let it go, but there are 3 main things that just rubbed me the wrong way and I just had to read my Quran just to clear my mind of any horrifying thoughts that could be floating. And just to make this clear, when I say horrifying I mean cruel and sinful, as in violent lol.
1. I was told it was my fault for fasting.  Reaction: stupid... thats like saying its someone's fault for observing Lent which is obviously very important and is done in order to please God.
2. An acquaintance of mine told me that their friend told them that it says in the Quran that fish were created from the sperm of the Prophet Mohammed when he saw an attractive woman. Reaction: Doesn't that contradict the concept of God creating ALL things? Every specimen on this planet. How is a human going to create a creature that Allah (SWT) created before hand? It just doesn't make sense. Not only that, what Quran is this guy reading?
3. This same random guy said that the Prophet Mohammed made up everything in the Quran. First, that would contradict that ridiculous statement above. Second, that's insulting, its disrespectful and ignorant. Thats like saying Musa (Moses) just made up those 10 commandments. Thats like saying The Torah was thought up by conspiracists. I mean seriously, with all of the similarities of Islam and Christianity, you would think people would at least realize the stupidity that they say before they actually say it. 
**sigh** 
I'm still learning so much about my Deen and people disrespecting me, my deen, my prophet, and my God all in one day is a bit much for my first Ramadan is overwhelming, but I guess thats why Jihad is a blessing right? Subhan'Allah.  
Keep me in your du'as as I continue on with Ramadan. 
w.salaam
Love,
Dedra

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

FUDGE CAKE!!! I DID IT AGAIN!!!

Clearly, I do not have fudge cake to offer to you lol if I did, I'm not exactly sure if I would share - just being honest hahaha.
BUT SERIOUSLY, I'm censoring myself for fudgin' up again during Ramadan. I ate before Iftar AGAIN. I obviously suck at life.
Not really.
But I feel even more awful because I ate suhoor and everything. I got bored and when I get bored I eat (which is even worse in general, so I might wanna work on that).
Is there a du'a in regards to mistakely breaking fast WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY before Iftar???? If not, I got a lot of explaining to do while praying.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Keeping Shaytan Away One Facebook Message At A Time PARTIE DEUX (part two)

In a narration by Muslim, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The reward of every (good) deed of a person is multiplied from ten to seven hundred times. Allah (SWT) says: `The reward of observing Saum is different from the reward of other good deeds; Saum is for Me, and I Alone will give its reward. The person observing Saum abstains from food and drink only for My sake.' The fasting person has two joyous occasions, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time of meeting his Rubb. Surely, the breath of one observing Saum is better smelling to Allah than the fragrance of musk.''

we should be grateful to have to the opportunity to fast. a time where we can become closer to Allah - though we may not deserve a lot of the blessings and forgiveness we may receive during this blessed month, Allah is merciful enough to forgive us from an act as simple as fasting. Subhan'allah, He is truly merciful.

My FIRST Ramadan~SUBHAN'ALLAH!

RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!!!!
How's the beginning of Ramadan going for you so far readers???
Hopefully, Allah is making it easy for you.... :)
As I promised, I would post about my first Ramadan experience. Yesterday, I messed up lol... I couldn't take it... I ate pretzel crisps 2 hours prior to fast breaking :-/ I took a nap and woke up and felt SOOO GUILTY... ugh!
So, today... today is soooo much better. Probably because I ate suhoor... which consisted of left over trail mix and water lol. yea, that didn't do much, but better than yesterday where I had air for suhoor!
Anywho, I'm really enjoying my first Ramadan even though I eat iftar alone and junk... its all good. Its only day two, insha'allah something magical will happen and I'll be eating iftar or suhoor with someone! lol
Its kinda rainy and moist here in Michigan which is very calming and is keeping the grumbles under raps for the time being. :)
Insha'allah, I will have more entertaining things to discuss about my FIRST Ramadan! :D
I love you all for the sake of Allah...
Salaamzzzzzz...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The longest rant known to man

Hello readers,
I'm pumped.
I'm pumped because Ramadan is two crappy nights of sleep away and it will be the highlight of this week that has been unnaturally stressful.
WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD.
First, the woman who birthed me said the most disgusting and hurtful comment to me that I have ever heard in my life. I have my secrets that only a few select people know and the only reason they know it is because I just got comfortable discussing it about a few years ago. This secret should not be thrown in my face by the person who created that issue and therefore made me keep it a secret in the first effing place. My whole resentment issue with the woman is because of the secret that she decideded she would throw in my face and say that I was mentally ill because this secret.
And as if she didn't humiliate me enough she says that I am playing Muslim...
Why?
Because of the way I talk to her.
I don't talk to her.
Because I don't like her.
I don't like her because she says things to hurt me and she's been doing it for years.
Therefore, when I get pissed, words (of which are true and harsh) splash of out my mouth faster than the waters in Louisianna.
So, because I don't like her and I talk to her the way she talks to me (seeing if I decide to talk to her), I am playing Muslim.
Now, I'm not a perfect Muslim, that's not my goal. My goal is to please my God .... but don't insult me and the one thing that is keeping me sane and that is my deen.
My deen is the reason why I am so calm typing this as we speak.
My deen is the reason why I haven't disappeared in the middle of the night to get away from her.
Hell, my deen is the only reason why I am happy.
So, why say I'm a fake?
The woman wanted to hurt me. I never tried to hurt her even though years ago I would have loved to, but I haven't.
whatever. But she hurt me. effing ridiculous is what this is.
Then, my brother, bless his heart, is upset because me and the woman don't get along. I understand that... we're his only family, but his expectations are TOOOOOOO high. He's asking for conversations and hugs. I don't even think I've hugged the woman before. Let alone said 'I love you'. I know he means well and I didn't ask him to choose sides, I want him to understand.
Now, before anyone person goes on to say how haram it is to disrespect your parents and junk... I'll let Allah handle it. How Allah wishes to treat me because of my lack of respect towards the woman will be up to Allah, NOT YOU. I already know, I've always known just like all humans know. So, don't judge me because it.

Alhumdulilah, Ramadan is coming soon and it is the perfect time for me to reflect on the things that have been happening before I converted. Insha'allah, I will come to terms with a couple things.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've also decided that I'll continue posting during Ramadan because I remember when I was secretly reading Muslim blogs (like Ange's) and was trying to get some type of look into what this deen is really about, reading blogs really helped a lot because it's a person giving their continuous realistic living of Islam. I just keep thinking there's a curious person whose wondering what the heck Ramadan or they are thinking of converting and they need answers, so I'll keep a weekly post of my first Ramadan.
Insha'allah, I'll be answering questions of those who are secretly following. :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Product of the Week!

Vaseline Cocoa Butter Lotion!!!!!

This lotion is AMAZING! I mean the softness going on the skin is like........ MAJOR. Very major. Not to mention it has that nice cocoa scent that not one woman can deny. Its totally worth buying a stupid size bottle that lasts for like 4 months. Guess what? ECONOMICAL! lol...

So, run to your closest drugstore/Costco/Target/dare I say... Walmart?

and grad this goodie ladies (or fellas) and get soft and junk!

Periods Suck...

But at least I get to wear nail polish...

No...

That still doesn't help.

EFF.....

Monday, August 10, 2009

I TOTALLY JUST HAD A REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!

SO I'M WRITING IN THIS LARGE, UNNECESSARY FONT BECAUSE I'M EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE - OF WHICH IS RELATED TO MY REVELATION... SO YES, THIS IS A GOOD THING WHICH WOULD MAKE THIS NECESSARY TO USE LARGE, UNNECESSARY FONT! I KNOW THAT WAS A RUN-ON SENTENCE AND ME SAYING THAT THE FONT IS UNNECESSARY BUT IS NECESSARY MAKES NO SENSE, BUUUUTTTTT GUESS WHAT?!
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
SO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY FINANCE DEGREE OR WITH A COLLEGE EDUCATION IN GENERAL AND I THINK I'VE GOT IT!
ITS BETWEEN OPENING AN ISLAMIC BANKING INSTITUTION IN THE MIDWEST OOOORRRRR BECOME A MUSLIM PARTY PLANNER!!!!!
SOOO!? WHAT DO YOU THINK!!? I NEED TO KNOW!!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Keeping Shaytan Away One Facebook Message At A Time

So, on Facebook there's a group called "Ahadith a Day Keeps Shaytan Away". Its so clever its awesome. So, anywho I'm on FB checking my Ahadith of the day and this one pops up:

45. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith instructs oneself to keep in control in order to overcome his rage.


This hadith touched my heart in ways I couldn't believe. I have a temper that could top some spoiled brats at times and my struggle since for the past year or so has been controlling my anger. I don't get violent or anything like that really, I just say some really nasty things and this hadith just erased any excuse I could've had for my temper.
Unbelievable.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Product of the week!

So, I decided that I'm going to start doing Product of the Week because I loooove trying different beauty products ESPECIALLY for my ethnic sistas. No offense to my Caucasion sisters, but its a completely different perplexity when it comes to ethnic hair and skin. Its almost puzzling sometimes, wallahi.

Continuing on, I'm going do a test run for a month and if yall aint feelin it (i.e. not commenting *ahem*), then I won't post them after. :D

ENJOY!


Product of the week: Sephone Brand Kohl Expert

This lil' guy is $8.00 US and is my personal favorite! I've never experienced something so smooth and delicate in my life! And not to mention, the color is veryVERY rich, so if you wanna go spooky dark eye, then go ahead! Its perfect for that! I completely recommend this doozy, the only thing is finding a pencil sharpener to fit it. Oh, and let me mention, if you're a smudging gal, then smudge away because its great for smudging which is something that looks ridiculous on me, but stunning on the Arab women here. *sigh* The only thing I could suggest is go with the waterproof, I think the smoothness affects how long it lasts sometimes.
Interested? Buy it here.

I wanna go to a shin-dig

I looooooooove satin for elegant affairs. Its a fabric perfect for Michigan because we have AMAZING COLD SEASONS. I think purple isn't used enough and you be shocked how hard it was to find that purple mini dress to go over that skirt.


So, enjoy... you might even fantasize a tad.




Monday, August 3, 2009

ITS ALMOST HERE! and my boredom disease




I'm doing my whole post in large bold print because I am AMPED for RAMADAN! You could ask my friend CB, but you can't because she won't follow my blog because she's being lazy... and I know she's reading this SO HA!Anywho! Excuse my spelling, I'm typing with a bandage index finger because I was yanking off dead skin out of boredom!!!!! I'll talk about that in a minute. So, yea I'm all super excited for Ramadan! I'm learning some recipes for it so when nightfall hits, I can make some meals for some of my close friends (which is very few cuz everyone will be off at school... boo). I'm trying to get my room in order so I can have personal space to pray, but ummm hmmm ... I don't think my bed feels like moving. My room is like 5 by 5 so there's like no room to think, BUT WHO CARES CUZ RAMADAN COMIN' YALL!!!! I can't wait! *does happy dance* I know, *haram haram*, but you know what... can't none yall see me, so I'm dancin... mentally... cuz I'm at work ... BORED AS HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL OMG MY BOSS ISN'T HERE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!! ITS FREEZING FROM THE OVERUSE OF AIR CONDITIONING AND I JUST WANNA SLEEP!!! I RIPPED DEAD SKIN OFF OF MY NAIL BED AND IT STARTED DRIPPING [BLOOD] SO THE ONLY PRODUCTIVE THING I DID TODAY WAS BANDAGE MYSELF. ugh. I feel like her...

Except without all the strange old folgie men drooling at my feet *yuck*, I look like her in my cubicle except I'm black...and Muslim...and have a bandaged finger...and i hate socks, so i have on flippy floppies.
ugh.
telemarketing sucks.
but you know what doesn't?
RAMADAN!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Grey AGAIN i know you like it

Yes, I did use grey again. I could care less if grey isn't your color. I bet a liter of Pepsi that all y'all look gorgeous in grey. So, embrace and get over it! :D

I loooove grey with random colors. It makes more sense than ice cream and cake... wait, ... hmmm that's too far fetched. Ice cream and cake were created to go together. **drool**

Anywhoooo,

tell me what you think... oh and that random eye liner - I bought THE MOST PERFECT EYELINER THIS WEEK, SO I INCLUDED IT. Its Sephora's brand of Kohl eyeliner. perfection.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Incubus x swollen tonsils x nasheeds x scary waitress






Yes.




I am that crazy.




:)



Incubus
Sunday night: DTE Energy, awesome friends, a blankey, and weirdo drunks and/or young hippies. What more can I say??? The concert was AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZING!! ugh, I can't even explain the atmosphere. It was peaceful and exciting!!! It might be because everyone was drunk or high [there was plenty of fun plants to go around], but who cares!? No shooting, no fighting, its allll good. :D
Swollen tonsils
So, after my amazing concert experience, I realized my tonsils were a tad tender. Tuesday, they are feeling a lil' round. Then I had a manly man voice going on. I felt awful. I wanted to roll up in crepe and shiver and die slowly. I didn't know what was going on. No one could understand me. I was pathetic... and kinda still am.

Nasheeds
While I was working on a special project, I decided to find some motivation music. As I was looking around, I bumped into this excellent website where you can listen and download nasheeds for free, alhumdulilah! Once I remember the name of the website, I'll be sure to post it so all you folks can enjoy it as well.

Scary waitress
Well, as I was downloading said nasheeds and working on said special project, I had an unusual experience with a waitress who obviously hated her job. First, my friend, I'll call her CB (short for creme bruille), noticed this waitress gave her a disturbing look. I laugh because her reaction was kinda funny UNTIL... I was minding my business and I innocently looked up and she was staring me down with this weird expression.
Think of Carrie when she was about to kill all those folks...

yea, yea, that one. THAT WAS THE LOOK.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE..... she was SCAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRY
I hope your life wasn't just wasted from reading about my very non-interesting adventures.
:D Salaam!












Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Please pay attention in history class

Why?
Because you don't wanna be like a particular person whose name I can't remember. So, I'm at work on break because I was on the verge of death and decided to take hold of a seat in the file room. I was reading Ange's blog when my co worker was playing her alternative Christian talk radio station.
So, I was minding my own business, catching a couple of words here and there while "Mr. Radio Man" (that's his name now) was talking about keeping the Christian community together and how that's what Jesus wanted etc, etc. As I was minding my business Mr. Radio Man was talking about the relativity of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. He started off fine saying the were the three largest monotheistic religions and I'm like "okay, Mr. Radio Man", then he said this:


"These religions are considered Abrahamic religions because of their connection with Abraham... I feel this is true for Judaism and Christianity, but not for Islam. I feel this way because Islam is a fairly new religion..."

~~soak that in~~

---ruminate on that---

Now, its not a direct quote, but its 98.9995% correct plus or minus a couple of words, but wallahi thats the shell right there.

I don't even know how to react to this. First, I was like "this effing idiot is effing retarded", but then when I was discussing it with my friend, I realized this dude had absolutely no clue. Its that lack of education that has people thinking that every time a Muslim goes grocery shopping, we're out to take over the world and blow up Christians.

The fact that he made a obvious contradiction could be completely ignored by someone simply because they don't agree with Islam. Fine. I don't care if you agree with Islamic beliefs or not, but a smart person would realize that if Islam is considered a major montheistic religion, how is it not an Abrahamic religion? What god are we (Muslims) worshipping then? Since apparently its not the same God Abraham and Jesus worshipped, it must some complete random moon god or something. Do you understand where I'm going with this? Its logic people need to start using. People are so adjusted to "well this is like this because it is" theory that they won't let go of their ignorance to pay attention to what they are saying or doing.

This is overwhelmingly irritating. I love Islam and I feel blessed and honoured to have to brought to this path of living and because of this, I feel that when someone has a question or has a particular image of Islam that's not correct, I should be the one to educate that person.

I was thinking of calling and telling Mr. Radio Man and telling him Christianity is older than Islam by just about 500 years... not 2,000. Its not like Muhammad (pbuh) was born 50 years ago and was "hey, guess what - y'all ain't living right. God told me to tell y'all that". Then I would ask him that wouldn't he think it's odd that we acknowledge EVERY single prophet/apostle that Christians acknowledge? From Abraham to Job to Jacob to Joseph to Jesus, not one person is underestimated nor ignored in Islam, but SOMEHOW we just don't fit with the Abrahamic religion because we are "fairly new".

Let me make something clear because I know some non-Muslims might come through and read this. You must pay attention to what comes out of another person's mouth. I don't care WHO they are, be smart, use your intellect that God has blessed you with. Don't go around bashing something you don't know about. Gaining knowledge and rejecting ignorance and arrogance pleases our Lord and we all know that, so take advantage of that and learn about your fellow bretherin around you.

Don't be like Mr. Radio Man and just say something that is contradicting and could be harmful for others and mislead your community.

I am done now.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

OH what's that Mr. Gadget, a Muslim paying taxes? Blasphemy!



So, I was snooping around my favorite website, Muslim Matters, and they had posted something about a particulary website that I thought was really halarious.
Loon Watch is a website that shows all this Tom-foolery called Islamaphobia. It's quite halarious. The satire paired with awesome journalism makes Islamaphobia seem like a game that some kids made up on a rainy day... wait a second, IT WAS WASN'T IT?! But anyway, lol, I was reading an article that made me giggle that was about some dude named Steve Emerson.
Here's a clippet of zee article:

Steven Emerson: “Wowser!”
Posted on 06 May 2009 by Garibaldi
Steven Emerson, a pillar of the Islamophobic movement, promotes himself as an “Investigative journalist” exposing terrorism and the supposed “fifth column activities of American Muslims” through his Orwellian organization, The Investigative Project. He claims, just as his counterparts Douglas Farah and Joe Kaufman do, that all his work is done in defense of America and in order to safeguard the homeland. Yet his claims are as mendacious and exaggerated as the other two.
He is simply the progenitor of some of the vilest, most imbecilic anti-Muslim hysteria on the inter-net and in America today. This is the case because more often than not he is so off the mark in his accusations and conclusions that it makes you wonder why anyone would take him seriously as a so-called “Investigative Journalist.”
His hunt to “expose” American Muslims is almost akin to watching an Inspector Gadget cartoon because of its hilarity if it weren’t for the fact that at least Inspector Gadget was sincere and actually solved a case or two. Unfortunately, it looks like Emerson lacks the high tech gadgetry that was at the disposal of Inspector Gadget and that might show him the error of his ways or at the very least help him get his foot out of his mouth.
Instead of using a magnifying glass to look for evidence, Emerson’s technique of choice is to make up the evidence as he goes along, Andy Birkey of the Minnesota Independent notes:
Emerson has a long history of getting into hot water over his anti-Muslim rhetoric. In the 1998 nuclear standoff between India and Pakistan, Emerson fed reporters with an informant who said Pakistan was set to strike India with a nuclear weapon. The media eventually found the informant to be unreliable - but not until international media had used Emerson’s source and intensified an international crisis.
In 1990, he was accused of plagiarism in his writings about Pan Am 103.
….
He sued a Florida paper after it published reports that he was supplying reporters with documents he said were from the FBI. The Florida Weekly Planet reported that the documents were frauds and Emerson sued. When he couldn’t substantiate his claims, he withdrew the lawsuit.
Emerson once claimed that an extremist Muslim group put out a hit on him and that the FBI offered to put him in a witness protection program. The FBI denied that claim.
In 1995, right after the Oklahoma City Bombing, Emerson was quoted on air stating that he believed the bombing showed “a Middle Eastern trait,” he came to this conclusion because according to him it was done “to inflict as many casualties as possible.” Wowser!

Read the rest here.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Work Story




It is something about kids that just crack me up. They are just so adorable [at times].
Example:
So, Monday morning I'm making some phone calls at my other job to confirm eye exam appointments. So, I called this family whom I realized, had a Muslim last name.
*ring* *ring* The phone rings (lol as if you didn't figure that out) and someone answers and the most adorable child goes,
'SALAAMULAIKUM!!!'
OH
MY
GOODNESS
I MEAN I JUST WANTED TO GO "WALAIKUMSALAAM LIL' GUY! HOW ARE YOU?" He'll be all "i'm 4!" and I'll be all "AWWW HOW CUTE! oh and by the way so and so has an appointment tomorrow at blah blah time" lol
it was great...
Cute kid.
I still don't want one though.
Too much... childness for me.


P.S. the greatest quote ever .... "da greatest soap from da heavens above... and dat's Dove." knowledge from Ghostface. So awesome.

Monday, July 20, 2009

oh yea, I'm at work and I'm on Polyvore... again.

So, I'm anxious for school to start and I can't stop thinking of fall fashion... THE BEST FASHION! The varying textures, mixing of colors, and of course the reimergence of HEELS. Yes... drool...

Drool fest #1:





So, I LOOOOVE grey compiled with contrasting colors. mmmMMMmmm it makes me smile. I like wool too, it just makes my skin burn.

Drool fest #2:



Need I say more? The random desk/table thing, I just thought that was sweet lookin' and I wanna go furniture shopping.

10 Things [that you should be warned] About ME!!!

So, I decided to take Ange's invite to do this tag thingie.
Let's see what happens, shall we?

#1: I claimed Islam before I took my actual shahada. To some this may not make since, but when I started looking into Islam and I was reading about how to convert, I instantly thought "I'm Muslim". So, like every other day I was thinking or saying the shahada. It took me a while to realize that I needed a witness, so on St. Patrick's Day, I took my shahada via Why Islam. These guys are awesome, I even got a little new convert package!!! Sweeet.
#2: When I was younger, as in, like 3rd grade, I thought I was Muslim. Yea, where I grew up (which was Crackhead Central mind you, wallahi) there were a couple of Nation [of Islam] "mosques". My mom attended them a few times and since I didn't know the difference of Muslim and "Nation folk" (that's what I call 'em), I just assumed they were Muslim. I thought it was cool and claim Islam for.... hmm a couple years. Until some strange Nation man was all up on my mom and doin all types of haram shit, then I was like uhh.... no.
#3: I went to Catholic school for 13 years. Yes, it is as awful as it sounds.
#4: If it wasn't for Islam, I'd probably be a suicidal whore. Seriously, a little over a year ago, I was in the midst of a panic attack and one day away from a nervous breakdown and 30 minutes away from cutting my wrists down to my central nervous system. Not only that, I was beyond willing to accomodate my physical needs by any means necessary. :( Astaghfir Allah!
#5: I was Arabic in my past life. This is a strong possibility.
#6: I'm actually 7 years old.
#7: If I don't get to marry my POI (person of interest) wallahi, I'm not getting married til I'm 30. seriously... POI is really awesome. HE MUST BE MINE!
#8: I had crazy feelings for this Bengali guy like a year and a half ago. I don't know what happened, but he had to stop talking to me and I must admit, I was shattered.... *sigh* oh well, ANWAY,
#9: I got baptized 9 months before I converted. Yea, long story.
#10: Waiting to Exhale + Tylenol + Burger King fries = amazing

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Allah Sent...

So, the other day I had the craziest dream. I feel like maybe Allah was trying to tell me something.
So check this out:
So, I was going to Jummah and I was chillin' exchanging some 'salaams' with some sistas, but when I was talking an older sista she ask me why I didn't observe hijab. I said that I wasn't sure if my imaan was strong enough to exude a good Muslim. she says that, you believe in the shahada, you believe in Islam right? I said yea, of course. she's like, "well whats stopping you? Allah knows your intentions. Don't let shaytan make you doubt you imaan."

DEEP

I woke up stunned. I felt like I knew what to do, but I was floored. This is the most forward "message" I've ever gotten in my entire life. When I converted, it was more of an emotional revelation than say... dream direct revelation I guess you could say.

I know what I have to do....

I just feel like I don't know where to start.... or when.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ITS HULK TIME!!!

OH MY EFFING GOODNESS.....

I

HATE

DETROIT METER MAIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WALLAHI, I COULD JUST METAMORPHOSIZE INTO THE HULK RIGHT NOW!!!!

ARG!

GRRRRRRRR!!!

I CAN TOTALLY DO MJ'S SCREAM VIDEO RIGHT NOW!!!!!

STUPID METER MAID!

UGH!

I WISH I HAD A WATER BALLOON TO THROW AT HER SO SHE CAN HATE HER JOB EVEN MORE!!!!!

ARG!!!!!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Want This


Her name is Aamina and she's a talking Muslim doll that speaks Arabic. Lol... I want this because its awesome.
I mean who wouldn't want this????
She's so cute!!!!
If you want this (or your "child", of which I'm assuming is you) buy it here.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Come on now ladies



Now, I was talking to my best friend last week, while indulging in some tasty cake, about the BET awards. She happened to mention that Mary Mary was there. I'm like, "oh that's cool. Back in the day, I was a big Mary Mary fan" Then she added that one of them had on "tight leather pantses" <<<>>> So, I'm thinking, those are some pretty thick sistas to be running around singing Gospel with "tight leather pantses". Then I really thought about it - if these sistas are singing Gospel, what happened to the modesty. Just because you at the BET awards doesn't mean all you thighs and whatnot gotta be known too. As far as I'm concerned, modesty isn't just for Muslim [women/men], its for all people.






Especially the thick one... Lawd the wrong man get a gander at those thighs, ALLAH ONLY KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN!






I don't think you understand the importance yet....


Soooooo, you see those tight leather PANTSES! I see em! I see those thighs too! I told my friend that I didn't understand why people made it seem difficult to dress at least DECENT [i.e. no leather pantses and thigh meat]. It really isn't! This can go for my Muslim sisters as well [a few of us are shapely too!], so I found some gawjuss dresses!




As you can see, all of them are floor length and if you're a hijabi [or anemic like moi] get down with some shawls, cardigans, SOMETHING, but there isn't an excuse for sad fashion decisions or compromising your modesty to look fashionable.


*sighs* I'm down now. I feel much better.

I'm bout to eat some cookies.

Love,

Dedra

OMG ITS HERE!

YESSSSSSSSSS!

ZEE PRECIOUS IS HERE!!!!
ISN'T IT JUST AMAZING! IT WAS CREATED JUST FOR ME AND MY INNER CHILD!!! SUBHAN'ALLAH!

I HAVEN'T STARTED COLORING YET BECAUSE I GOT IT WHEN I WAS SITTING IN BED AND THE CRAYONS WERE ALL THE WAY AT MY DESK WHICH APPROXIMATELY 3 FT AWAY.... BUT CHECK THIS OUT.
ZAMZAM!!!! YUMMY!!!! I LIKE SOME FRESH, ALLAH SENT ZAMZAM!
"The moral of this story is that believers who, despite their hardships, follow the path of Allah, will find that, Allah will remain with them and help them in miraculous ways, just as the child Ismail was saved by the miracle of the Zamzan spring."
That's too real Mr. Coloring Book.... too real.

Love,
Dedra

A Month in Half!


So, the past two months I can't stop thinking about Ramadan! I'm so dang excited because I know I will learn so much (hey, I might even make a friend, yes!)... but then I realize that I should prep first right? hmmm, but I wouldn't know where to start said prepping. If you have any ideas, let me know. I hate to start Ramadan, then get sent to the hospital because I was doing too much lol. ugh, I CAN'T WAIT! It's gon be grand y'all! lol, I still need those tips though.

Love,
Dedra

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Movie Time!

So, I randomly went to the Blockbuster the other with my best friend/god-sister/most awesome person in the world (tehe) and I was gandering around wondering what these young ones were watchin' nowadays and I bumped into this little guy:
So, I immediately got excited because I had been looking for something to intrigue me... so, I just finished the movie and the whole time, my jaw is like dragging against the ground in awe because the movie was so realistic and very needed.
I hate ruining movies for people, so check it, this is what I'll do...
Zee characters and dey purpoze. So, the Muslim family is Egyptian (*cough* Ange *cough*) and let me tell you they are all just adorable, especially the pop, Mustafa.


This is a ridiculously small picture of him being interrogated in the airport by the FBI (he didn't do a thing, but be adorable). He's the main character who owns a falafel joint in LA and his whole thing is living the "American Dream" so his family can have a nice life in the States and whatnot and let me just say, this man's iman is so strong because considering he kept getting arrested over ridiculous speculations and he still sat and said, "I believe in the country". He's a good one... I was born here and I don't give a rat's tail. lol but that's neither here nor there haha.


Mohammed
Trust me this lil' guy is cuteness. He's Mustafa's son and he's the one who's question why he's Muslim, why did those Muslims bomb those buildings, and so on and so forth. I think his character is pretty precise because I can only imagine how your 11 and 12 year old Muslim brother and sisters felt when 9/11 happened.

Omar
This young man is the son who works in the movie industry as an actor. Lately, he had been typecasted as a terrorist (shocker, not) and he finally landed on this wack TV show called American Safety as a doctor, until he went in to rehearse and the had him play as a terrorist instead. That's all I'm gonna tell you about him (and other characters) because that would get me into describing the movie - and I want you to watch it first before I say anything about it.


Moral of the story: SEE THIS MOVIE! This movie wasn't released at American theaters, but I suggest hitting up an online movie site or Blockbuster... whatever floats your boat. Its an awesome movie! Check it out!
Love,
Dedra

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

So awesome...

I totally just ordered an Islamic coloring book about the prophet Ibrahim (Abraham)!!!! I will post pictures of it and my awesome coloring skills when I get it in!!!

Who wants to be my friend?

So, lately I've been dying to go to Jumma, but there's one little problem. I'm horrified.

WHY? Let me explain:

I've read soooooo many stories about sisters' first experiences at Jumma and it's mortifying. I mean people judge everywhere and I shouldn't be shocked, but what if some random person is all "why do you have on that?" or what if I don't pray right or what if I get so nervous from being around strangers (of which I must remind you I don't like) that I destroy my wudu?

I know it sounds silly and I know I'm over thinking, but I'm like a 6 year old trapped inside a very small 20 year old and when I get around people who have been Muslim like their whole life, I just freak. I don't know why. I try to ignore mean people who think its their duty to judge every Muslim in world on how weak or strong their iman is, but damn its hard. And I cry!

Yea, that's right I cry.

About everything.

So, basically, I don't think I'm emotionally prepared. I don't effing know. Maybe I shouldn't go alone. But as I said before I have like one Muslim friend and we haven't hung out outside of class.

Ya Allah! I don't know what to do! I'm starting to get clammy just thinking about it.



Now, I know I shouldn't care because Jumma is to praise Allah and praising Allah should be my motivation and whatnot, and it is trust me, but *shivers* strangers. EVERYWHERE! All around me. Looking at me, wondering where I'm from, staring at me, backbiting (and don't act like people don't do it - Dedra knows), it just throws me off.

So, now I'm hoping maybe I'll just make a new Muslim friend who'll convince me that I should't feel the urge to pass out when praying with other brothers and sisters who are, insha'allah, there to do the same thing; praise Allah.

So, who wants to be my friend?
Love,
Dedra

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So, when I get really bored at work, I hit up Polyvore

Yes, this is true! But I'm not like addicted or anything (lie), I just go on there when I am dying to spend WAY too much money on ridiculous things like really awesome mascara whose tube is the same color as a pair of shoes that cost as much paying your bills for a month.

So, I forget what I was thinking about when I was doing this, but whatever who cares lol.

Monday, June 29, 2009

SUBHAN'ALLAH!

So, I'm at work kinda bored because I worked at my other job this morning so I'm extra pooped. I finished some work early and decide to read the Qur'an. This is the only thing I enjoy about technology because when I'm at zee coffee shop/pastry yum yum place, I can read my glorious Word and enjoy decadent coffee shop yum yum products!


Anywho, so I'm reading and I suddenly realized two things:


1. my teacher who said that I shouldn't read the Qur'an until I learn Arabic never returned my email when I asked her about hijab. That was in April. I am not pleased.


2. I can't not read the Qur'an. Why? It's my comfort food (i.e. knowledge). Call me stubborn, but I don't learn languages well, hell, most of my reasons for my dialect or spellings or prononciations is because of the "because" English rule. I MUST READ MY QUR'AN! I was crushed when she told me to practice and not read the [English transliteration] Qur'an. It'll take Allah knows how long for me to effeciently learn QURANIC Arabic, let alone the conversational Arabic I need to learn for my minor.


AAAAAAANNNNNNNYYYYYWAAAAAAAAYYY,


Purpose: I *heart* the Qur'an and reading it today [at work] made me realize how far I've come, alhumdulilah, but how far I have to go. But nevertheless, considering where I was a little over a year ago, [compromising myself for .... others] Allah truly knows best.


Subhan'allah!


Wallah, with out His guidance, Allah only knows what I would be doing (and who I'm doing it with, yeesh!).




Alhumdulilah! I feel blessed to even have the opportunity to get to this point and insha'allah my iman will grow beyond my imagination! But, I'm still in my learning phase (*ahem* awesome online Qur'an) and I have like one Muslim friend and one Muslim acquaintance. :(


Let me mention that I get nervous around strangers because 1. I don't like strangers and 2. people are mean and I'm sensitive! Anywho, I kinda forgot the purpose of my whole rant on the Qur'an and whatnot, but SUBHAN'ALLAH! It don't matter [awesome English I know this], I'm happy and thrilled and a tad bit emotional because that's what happens when I start feeling all good and whatnot after reading the Qur'an!

SUBHAN'ALLAH! yes, I had to say it again.
This post is officially done.
Love,
Dedra

ALL MY BABIES!